Darlene Rites, Family Law Lawyer & Mediator

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Darlene Rites, Family Law Lawyer & Mediator Darlene is a family law lawyer and mediator experienced in the resolution of all family law matters.

She assists clients resolve family law disputes in a sensible and efficient manner using a variety of approaches.

Even the friendliest divorce can leave a significant hole in your finances.In a recent Globe and Mail story, financial a...
10/15/2026

Even the friendliest divorce can leave a significant hole in your finances.

In a recent Globe and Mail story, financial advisors said they often find themselves delivering difficult news to newly divorced people struggling to adjust to the limits of their new financial reality.

Ideally, advisors would rather speak with clients before the divorce process begins, giving them a head start on planning for the next phase of their personal and financial lives.

Here are five areas they say people should consider when planning their post-divorce finances:

1️⃣ Income sources
If you don’t work or have a low income, you may need to find a new job or work longer than planned.

2️⃣ Cash flow
After divorce, former spouses may decide to sell the matrimonial home and downsize, freeing up cash while reducing ongoing housing costs.

3️⃣ Estate planning
Your preferred beneficiaries may change after a divorce. Review your will, powers of attorney and life insurance beneficiary designations to make sure they reflect your new circumstances.

4️⃣ Health-care costs
If you relied on your spouse’s workplace benefits for dental and extended health-care coverage, you may need to find another way to cover those costs, whether through your own employer or a private insurer.

5️⃣ Investment strategy
Depending on your risk tolerance, investment knowledge and portfolio, you may need to reassess your investment goals and expectations.

For many people, the end of a marriage can bring an unexpected sense of relief.A recent survey by UK law firm Slater + G...
10/13/2026

For many people, the end of a marriage can bring an unexpected sense of relief.

A recent survey by UK law firm Slater + Gordon found that 79% of divorcees felt a weight had been lifted after ending their marriage.

Many people put off the decision to divorce because they fear the emotional upheaval it may bring. But the survey reflects something we often see in our practice: while separation can be incredibly difficult in the short term, many people emerge feeling happier and more hopeful about the future.

Here are some of the other key findings:

➡️ 48%: The proportion of respondents who said their long-term mental health improved after divorce

➡️ 1–3 years: How long almost a quarter of respondents waited before starting the divorce process. Another 22% delayed the decision by four to six months or more.

➡️ 57%: The proportion of divorcees who wished they had started the process earlier

Spousal support obligations do not necessarily continue into retirement, as a recent Ontario Court of Appeal decision sh...
10/05/2026

Spousal support obligations do not necessarily continue into retirement, as a recent Ontario Court of Appeal decision shows.

According to the ruling, in 2013 the parties agreed that the husband would pay his former wife $15,500 per month in spousal support after their 25-year union ended.

The open-ended agreement reflected that the wife was unable to work after their separation and that the marriage had been traditional, with the wife staying home to raise their three children while her husband pursued his medical career.

In 2022, the wife brought a motion seeking increased support retroactive to 2014, citing deteriorating health and rising medical expenses. The husband responded by seeking to terminate support, arguing that his impending retirement would significantly reduce his income.

The motion judge found that his retirement and resulting drop in income amounted to a “material change” in circumstances. She ordered a two-year transitional period, with support ending Sept. 30, 2026.
The wife appealed, arguing in part that the judge had not given enough weight to evidence of family violence during the marriage and its impact on her health and ability to earn an income.

The Court of Appeal dismissed her appeal, finding no basis to interfere with the motion judge’s decision. The court found that the judge had considered the wife’s health issues and the relationship between her PTSD and family violence when reaching her decision.

But family law litigants should be careful not to read too much into the ruling.

Retirement can amount to a material change that justifies reconsidering spousal support. But it does not automatically mean support will be reduced or terminated. Courts must still consider the parties' circumstances and the objectives of spousal support.

Judges have considerable discretion when making support decisions. As the Court of Appeal emphasized, an appeal court cannot intervene simply because it might have weighed the factors differently.

Today, we honour residential school Survivors, the children who never returned home and the families and communities end...
09/30/2026

Today, we honour residential school Survivors, the children who never returned home and the families and communities enduring the lasting effects of the residential school system.

On the National Day for Truth and Reconciliation, we take time to remember, reflect and learn. And to recognize that reconciliation is work that extends far beyond this day.

Breaking bad news is never easy, especially when children are involved.And few conversations are as difficult as telling...
09/23/2026

Breaking bad news is never easy, especially when children are involved.

And few conversations are as difficult as telling your child that their parents are separating.

In a recent Forbes article, U.S. family attorney Patricia Fersch explains that no two children will react to their parents’ separation in exactly the same way. Feelings of loss, anger, confusion and anxiety, however, are common when a family is going through such a significant change.

Here are some of her tips for talking to your kids about divorce:

➡️ Put on a united front:
If possible, tell your children about the separation together. Although you will no longer be living together, it can be reassuring for them to see that you remain committed to parenting together.

➡️ Reassure them:
Young children may believe that their parents’ separation happened because of something they did. Make it clear that they are not to blame and that any anger or conflict they may have witnessed was never their responsibility.

➡️ Turn on the TV:
Not all screen time is bad. Some children’s shows address divorce and changing family dynamics with the honesty and sensitivity kids need. Bluey, Sesame Street and Phineas and Ferb have all tackled the subject in age-appropriate ways.

➡️ Keep it short:
This is a lot for a child to absorb at once. Start with what they need to know now, including a simple timeline of any changes that will affect their day-to-day life.

➡️ Make room for questions:
Your children will likely have questions about what happened and what comes next, both now and in the weeks and months ahead. Answer them honestly, in language that is appropriate for their age.

Children don’t need every detail about why their parents’ relationship ended. What they do need is clarity about what is changing, reassurance about what isn’t, and the freedom to keep asking questions as they adjust.

Your exes are not your children’s exes.In a recent column, American mediator Oran Kaufman explained how a friend’s off-h...
09/17/2026

Your exes are not your children’s exes.

In a recent column, American mediator Oran Kaufman explained how a friend’s off-hand comment triggered a realization about post-separation family relationships.

The friend mentioned that he was at his “ex-mother-in-law’s” house, where his daughter was helping her grandmother recover from a broken hip.

“Although she was his ex-mother-in-law, she was not his daughter’s ex-grandmother. That relationship had not ended,” Kaufman writes.

Building on Kaufman’s insight, here are three things to keep in mind when navigating relationships with your ex’s family:

*️⃣ LOOK AT THE RELATIONSHIP THROUGH YOUR CHILD'S EYES
Your former in-laws are still your child’s family. Relationships with grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins can remain important sources of connection and stability after a separation.

*️⃣ THINK LONG-TERM
In the middle of a difficult divorce, it can be hard to see beyond the conflict. But your relationship with your former in-laws is separate from your child’s relationship with them — and those family bonds may last a lifetime.

*️⃣ MAINTAIN BOUNDARIES
Supporting your child’s relationships doesn’t mean you need to maintain your own close relationship with every member of your ex’s family. You can set appropriate boundaries while still making space for connections that matter to your child.

Divorce changes the shape of a family, but it doesn’t have to change who children consider family.

When it comes to prenups, Canadians are finding it hard to shake the “ick” factor.In what The Globe and Mail calls the “...
09/15/2026

When it comes to prenups, Canadians are finding it hard to shake the “ick” factor.

In what The Globe and Mail calls the “prenup paradox,” surveys have repeatedly shown that Canadians, young and old, want prenups, yet few actually follow through and put a legally enforceable agreement in place before tying the knot.

A recent Globe-commissioned survey found that just 4% of married respondents had a marriage contract, even though a third of Canadians said they wanted their partner to sign one. Among younger Canadians, that figure was even higher, at 52%.

One financial expert quoted in the story suggested the disconnect may come down to the “icky” stigma attached to prenups — the idea that planning for a possible breakup is somehow unromantic or pessimistic.

But there are good reasons to push past that discomfort:

✅ Cost savings: The cost of negotiating and drafting a prenup can be a barrier, but it pales in comparison with a contentious divorce, where legal fees can easily run into six figures.

✅ Protecting existing real estate: For younger Canadians who have worked hard to get onto the property ladder — or received help from their parents — a prenup can clarify what happens to that investment if the relationship ends.

✅ Having difficult conversations: Money isn’t always an easy subject for couples. A prenup requires both partners to talk openly about their finances, expectations and values before they marry.

Part of the “prenup paradox” may also be terminology. Canadian family lawyers don’t generally use the word “prenup.” Depending on the circumstances, we’re more likely to discuss a cohabitation agreement or a marriage contract.

Whatever you call it, the important part is getting good legal advice before you sign. A properly drafted agreement can provide both partners with clarity about their financial rights and obligations, whether the relationship lasts a lifetime or not.

Money often complicates relationships, and the same can be said of divorce.Business interests, investments, pensions, re...
09/09/2026

Money often complicates relationships, and the same can be said of divorce.

Business interests, investments, pensions, real estate and tax consequences can turn property division into a high-stakes exercise.

Three tips for navigating a high-net-worth divorce in Ontario:

1️⃣ Build the right financial team
Ontario’s property division rules may appear straightforward. Valuing complex assets rarely is.
Accountants, valuators and tax professionals can help determine the value of assets and identify tax-efficient ways to divide them.

2️⃣ Plan for Section 7 expenses
Private school tuition, extracurricular activities, post-secondary education and uninsured health care costs can become major points of conflict. These expenses are often shared in proportion to the parents’ incomes. Alternative dispute resolution may allow parents to reach an arrangement that better fits their family.

3️⃣ Consider mediation
Mediation offers flexibility and privacy — two significant advantages when substantial assets or private business interests are involved. It can also give former spouses more control over the process, including the ability to work with a mediator who understands complex financial matters.

High-net-worth divorce involves more than dividing assets. It demands the right strategy, expertise and a clear view of what’s at stake.

Every situation is different. Speak with an experienced family lawyer about your circumstances.

Depending on your case, you may need to complete several required steps and attend certain court appearances before it c...
08/27/2026

Depending on your case, you may need to complete several required steps and attend certain court appearances before it can move forward.

Swipe through for four things you may encounter after filing.

The best parenting plan may be the one you rarely need to read.As U.S. lawyer and divorced dad Ed Hecht explained in a r...
08/19/2026

The best parenting plan may be the one you rarely need to read.

As U.S. lawyer and divorced dad Ed Hecht explained in a recent video, a detailed parenting plan should give co-parents somewhere to turn when questions or disagreements arise. It shouldn’t become a weapon.

Not every co-parenting relationship can support a flexible approach. But Hecht encourages former partners who can communicate respectfully to keep three principles in mind:

➡️ Put the children first
Your children didn’t choose the separation. You owe it to them to work together as well as you can.

➡️ Get specific
A parenting plan can cover healthcare, education, religion, extracurricular activities, discipline, holidays and other important decisions. The detail isn’t there to trip up your former partner. It’s there to prevent misunderstandings and provide a shared point of reference.

➡️ Write it down — then live your lives
Once the plan is complete, let it work quietly in the background.

Hecht says his own parenting plan comes out only once or twice a year, usually around Halloween, when he needs to check whose turn it is to take the children trick-or-treating.

A strong parenting plan doesn’t control every moment. It creates clarity when you need it, and room to move forward when you don’t.

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Toronto, ON
M6H1V2

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