09/08/2026
“Never make home feel like the hardest door there is to open.”
Random unsolicited marriage advice from the internet it was …. But gosh how important that is!
If you’ve ever experienced this feeling you immediately know it after reading that sentence.
When you’d rather be at work than at home, when home feels so miserable and silent, dinner is dreaded or eaten separately, when kids hide in their rooms even when there is no fighting, when home is more lonely than being alone, when you’d rather spend all of your free hours with your hobby or exercising rather than going home to your family ….. in my opinion, you’ve lost the war or never started fighting.
This situation may be more easily prevented than repaired.
I haven’t found anything yet to bring a marriage back to life that is in this state, neither personally or professionally even after 20 plus years of divorce work; however, I imagine both people simultaneously turning to a higher power would be the proper solution.
The writer of the same social media post went on to say that the way to avoid this situation is to keep a lifeline extended at all times. Even if you’ve been mad, do something to show you are still open to the relationship continuing or in other words continually invite through gestures the spouse back into the fold, i.e. a cup of coffee handed without asked after a terrible night, a soft touch or hug, a sweet “goodnight” even after going to bed mad. Continue to rekindle and restart the relationship every day no matter what happened the day before. No, this is not referring to abusive relationships or infidelity. It is all the other stuff that make marriages hard.
Admittedly, a marriage counselor (years ago) once told me “it’s not that you need to rekindle your relationship, it’s that you have lost the relationship entirely… you simply don’t have one anymore.” Talk about soul crushing and a complete reality check of how bad I had let things get. I didn’t go back after that day, thinking she had to be wrong. Well, I did actually go back years later to tell her she was right and thank you. But… I couldn’t accept that truth that day, not out loud. The marriage was over and nothing could save it. There is definite grief in that no matter who is to blame, usually both.
Nevertheless, yes, we at our office help you complete your divorce. We will advocate and fight, but that doesn’t mean that we don’t first want to help you brainstorm ways to salvage the relationship before resorting to filing. We will recommend counselors if requested and ideas of how to address topics with your spouse, and so on. And, should you choose to pause the divorce or even dismiss it, even after you have filed, there are absolutely ways we can do that.
While we do perform the heavy work, we will work with you no matter which way you ultimately choose to go. Happiness and safety are our primary goals for you and your children. Please let us know if we can help in any way: 731.470.4495
-Attorney Jen
