03/12/2022
When spouses or domestic partners get ready to file for divorce or legal separation, they may have different points of view on issues like property division, custody of the children, or support. But just because you may have these disagreements, it does not mean you have to go in front of a judge to resolve them.
Consider that a judge can never know about your relationship — as a couple and as a family — as well as you know yourselves. So it often makes sense to work out as many issues as you can out of court. In most cases, resolving your disputes outside of court saves time and money.
More importantly, it can help you avoid or minimize a lot of the negative emotional impact that contested divorce cases can have. Divorce or separation is a difficult emotional process. You and your family will surely feel the impact of the legal processes and the emotional issues. For help dealing with the emotional impact of divorce on you and your children and information to help you work out some of the issues around your children, visit Families ChangeExternal link icon, an online guide for families going through separation and divorce. It has 3 versions – one for parentsExternal link icon, one for childrenExternal link icon, and one for teens and pre-teensExternal link icon.
There are a number of ways that you can approach your divorce or legal separation case to focus on resolving the issues in the case by agreement. With these approaches, you can get help trying to reach agreements when you cannot do it all yourselves without help. Click to learn more about agreements in divorce cases.
Mediation
One of these approaches is trying mediation. In mediation, an impartial person (the mediator) helps people reach an agreement they can both accept. The mediator helps people talk the issues through in a way that often makes it easier for the couple to settle the dispute themselves. Mediators do not make decisions. Agreements can only be reached if everyone agrees. The mediator will not force you to agree to anything.
Even if you do not think you will be able to agree to everything, mediation can help you resolve some issues, so that you can concentrate on the issues you have not resolved and have a judge make the decision on those. Also, by preparing for mediation, you will prepare yourself for trial in case you do not reach an agreement.