10/19/2026
⚖️ BPD is on the rise, nationally. We see BPD in a handfull of our cases at any given time. This is a very handy list of advice for those dealing with BPD in their divorce or custody case.
MASTERSON LAW ⚖️
The most dangerous moment in a high-conflict divorce is the moment you think you can reason with them.
You can't. That's the premise of this book, and it's the premise that will save you months of your life and thousands of dollars in legal fees. Bill Eddy spent eighteen years as a family lawyer and twelve as a therapist before writing this. Randi Kreger co-wrote Stop Walking on Eggshells, the book that introduced a generation to borderline personality disorder. Together, they know exactly what happens when someone with BPD, NPD, or antisocial traits decides to make a divorce as painful as possible.
Eddy calls them "persuasive blamers." People who appear charming and convincing to lawyers and judges while privately creating chaos, shifting blame, and escalating conflict rather than solving it . They lie to the court. They make false allegations. They use the legal system as a weapon. And because they're so convincing, it often works.
What the book actually gives you.
1. The BIFF method. Brief, Informative, Friendly, Firm. That's how you communicate with a blamer. Not emotional. Not defensive. Not angry. Just the facts, delivered without am******on they can use against you. Anything you write, texts, emails, can and will be introduced into evidence . Act accordingly.
2. Document everything. Immediately after incidents, write down accurate details. Keep a journal. Save hostile emails and texts. Copy important records and keep them somewhere safe . You are building a record. The record is your protection.
3. Plan for the worst. Eddy's quick-start guide is blunt: develop an emergency plan. Your partner could assault you or evict you at any time. Figure out a safe place to go. Get cash. Know who can help you on short notice . This isn't paranoia. It's pattern recognition.
4. Protect your children from the conflict. Don't say anything against your partner in front of them. Don't ask them questions about the other parent. Don't discuss court within their hearing. Don't ask them to compare you. Don't put them in the middle . The conflict is yours. Don't make it theirs.
It doesn't replace a lawyer. It doesn't guarantee a good outcome. It doesn't pretend the system is fair. And it doesn't work if you're not ready to stop fighting emotionally and start fighting strategically.
But if you're divorcing someone who makes every conversation a trap, who turns your children into messengers, who lies to your face and then charms the judge, this book is the closest thing to a shield you'll find.
Read it before you file. Read it before you respond to that email. Read it before you say one more word you'll regret.
BOOK: https://link.amazon/B06iVueaQ