08/31/2019
How to talk to children about online po*******hy
1 Don’t wait. Start from a young age and, without mentioning p**n specifically, make it clear that there are some parts of the internet that are not meant for children.
2 Talk about the difference between making love and “making hate”. As they begin to understand more about s*x, explain there is a spectrum, from real life to what takes place on the internet. At the real-life end, there’s the intimate and mutually enjoyable act of making love. And at the other end, there is what Professor Gail Dines describes as “making hate”, which is often what online p**n is about.
3 Explain the p**n business. It makes money by seizing your attention, which it does by showing the most extreme, often confected, practices – many of which have little to do with reality. Young people tell me that learning how the s*x trade works and realising some of the women are abused, underage or s*x-trafficked gives them a logical reason to stop watching.
4 Talk about consent. P**n encourages the idea that s*x is always available and no one ever says no. Psychologist Lisa Damour suggests that when the time comes for young people to be s*xually intimate, we should be coaching them towards mutual and enthusiastic agreement.
• For free resources to help you talk to your child about p**n, go to the free parenting course at Culture Reframed, culturereframed.org/parents-program
A generation is growing up with online po*******hy. What impact is it having on them – and how should parents handle it?
