04/03/2024
I dare you to put me out of business.
Ending a relationship is an act of kindness rather than something that is abusive, selfish, or immoral.
If we love someone else, if we need to be alone, or if for whatever reason we can no longer live our truth within the confines of a relationship we must all be granted the freedom to walk away from it with dignity without being seen as abandoning our partner, or breaking a sacred vow.
Selfishness is keeping an unwilling partner trapped. It is coercing someone to stay with us through threats and emotional manipulation.
Leaving someone whom we once loved, or even still love, takes a great deal of courage, and that kind of bravery is rarely recognized.
We praise those who can muster the strength to leave abusive situations, but condemn those who part ways because we have evolved out of a relationship.
Unfortunately, this judgment prevents so many individuals from moving forward emotionally and spiritually. It keeps people mired in stagnant, unhealthy situations where they aren’t truly content, because to leave would be to face judgment, to be called a bad person.
With that judgment from peers, friends, and family members comes loss instead of the understanding and compassion that both uncoupled partners need—not just the one who feels left behind.
Real love is fluid and expansive. It needs freedom. Love evolves and shifts over time, just as our perceptions of it do, and should.
As another writer, Glennon Doyle Melton (who is also going through a public separation), says “love never fails,” but sometimes, between two people, it moves on.
We must allow this to happen freely for ourselves, our partners, our loved ones, and for public figures without projecting our own expectations or judgments upon them.
Just because a relationship ends, does not mean it has failed, Melton explains.
She says it has “completed.”
And neither partner should be vilified when this happens.
✍️ Victoria Fedden
Artist: Maddie Burmeister