Robert Louis Williamson - Attorney at Law

06/08/2022

’s :
Like it, share it, send me your best one, and always remember; the worst lawyer joke is you with a bad one...

A zealous defense attorney was hard at work in the courtroom trying to discredit an eyewitness to knife fight outside a local tavern.

"Mr. Smith, you say you witnessed my client pull a knife on Mr. Jones in the back alley behind the bar?"

"Yessir."

"And you already admitted that there was no streetlight nearby and you were nearly 30 feet away when this happened..."

"Yessir."

"Well, Mr. Smith, how do you expect this smart jury of your peers to believe that you can see so clearly at night from so far away without any lighting?"

Mr. Smith paused politely for a second and turned to the jury...

"Well, sir,... I can see the moon."

06/07/2022

’s :
Like it, share it, send me your best one, and always remember; the worst lawyer joke is you with a bad one...

It was a hot summer day, and the old courthouse was just as hot. The air was thick and humid, and the jury was having a hard time staying focused. One of the jurors succumbed to the heat, falling asleep just as the victim was being questioned by the prosecutor.

"The defendant is accused of making obscene phone calls to your home. Would you please tell the jury precisely what the defendant said when he called you," asked the prosecutor.

"I can't do that," the victim replied. "It was so crude and disgusting. I can't use language like that."

"Would it help to just write it down?"

The victim wrote out every detail of what the obscene caller had said, and passed the note to the judge. The judge read the note. It was then passed to the prosecutor, the defense attorney, and finally to the jury.

The sleeping juror was seated at the back corner of the jury box, and was the last to receive the note. He was awoken with a nudge from an attractive young juror, seated next to him, and she passed him the note. He read it, gazed in awe at the woman, and read it again. He turned to her, smiling broadly, and winked. He then put the note into his pocket.

The judge demanded, "Please pass that note to the bailiff."

"But your honor," the juror protested, "It's a private matter."

06/06/2022

’s :
Like it, share it, send me your best one, and always remember; the worst lawyer joke is you with a bad one...

In Texas a freight train was standing on the crossing. Two men in a car drove into it and were killed. Their families sued the railroad. The country watchman was called as a witness. He testified that he saw the car coming, grabbed his lantern, waved it at them and hollered. They paid him no mind, ran smack into the train and killed themselves. He stuck to his story. The railroad won the case. After the trial the attorney for the railroad went over to him and congratulated him on his testimony and told him it was his testimony that did it. The ol' boy said "yes sir, but I sho' was scared." "Why?" asked the lawyer. "I was afraid one of them smart lawyers was gonna ask me did I have that lantern lit."

06/05/2022

’s :
Like it, share it, send me your best one, and always remember; the worst lawyer joke is you with a bad one...

At two in the morning, the phone rang at the governor's mansion. An aide found himself talking to a local attorney, who insisted that he must speak to the governor immediately.

Despite pleas to postpone his call until morning, the attorney insisted that the call was over a matter of utmost urgency, and that he could not wait. Eventually, the aide reluctantly decided to wake up the governor.

"So, what is it?" grumbled the governor.

"Judge Cassidy just died," announced the attorney, "and I want to take his place."

The Governor shot back, "It's okay with me if it's okay with the undertaker."

06/02/2022

Employee Retention Credit (ERC) pays W-2 payroll employers $10,000 to $20,000 PER EMPLOYEE! It is a real IRS program to get much needed money back into the hands of good businesses that maintained operations through the pandemic. All W-2 payroll employers qualify. Contact me today to find out just how much you’re owed.

06/02/2022