09/30/2024
Estate planning is like weight loss, and it sucks.
I’ve been an estate planning attorney for 16 years, and I’ve been trying to lose weight for about 35 years. Today, I was struck by the similarities between these seemingly unrelated topics. Here is it –
They are both hard. They are both a lifelong journey. They are not one-size-fits-all. There is no one perfect solution that works for everyone. You can’t find the answer by reading an online article or following the advice of a Facebook post. There is no easy answer or quick fix – it takes time, and it takes work.
There are so many programs, “solutions”, well-meaning advisors, and “magic pills.” Some of these work for some people, some of the time – and that’s the problem. If they never worked for anyone, these quick fixes would go away, yet they stick around because they do “work” for some people…sometimes. This is true of weight loss, and it’s true of estate planning. But wait…it’s gets worse. Here’s why -
With the weight loss stuff, at the end of the program or diet, you know whether it worked for you – you lose weight, you feel better, you’re healthier, etc. - or not. If it didn’t work, you may have wasted some time and money, but you can try again, try a different solution, find the way that works for you.
It doesn’t work that way with estate planning. Most of the time you will never know whether or not your Power of Attorney document “worked,” because by the time your family members need to use your Power of Attorney, you are likely incapacitated and unaware whether your Power of Attorney gave them the right powers, the wrong powers, too many powers, or too few powers.
The same goes for your Will, your beneficiary designations, your Healthcare Directives, your Trusts, etc. You will likely never know whether those documents “worked” the way you thought they would. And, if they don’t work, you don’t get to try again.
So, here it is – the hard truth. Whether a certain weight loss technique works for you depends on a lot of variables – your health, your genes, your lifestyle, your food allergies, etc. It’s the same with estate planning. Whether a certain estate planning technique will work for you depends on a lot of variables – your family, your assets, your goals, your risk tolerance, etc. Be wary of any person, company, website, social media post, etc. that says “Everyone should …” “You don’t need …” etc. This type of “generic” estate planning advice is rarely right. I know it’s tempting. But, there is very little estate planning advice that applies to everyone. To be done right, estate planning must be specifically tailored to your life, your goals, your assets, and your family.
So, how do you know if the estate planning advice is right for you? Here's a non-exhaustive list of all of the things someone should know about you before you listen to their estate planning advice:
o Are you married?
o Have you been divorced?
o Do you have a blended family
o Do you have children?
o What is your relationship like with each of your children?
o Are any of your children disabled?
o Are your children married?
o If one of your married children died before you, would you want their inheritance to go to their spouse? To their children?
o Do you want to disinherit any of your children?
o Do you want all of your children to receive an equal inheritance?
o Do you have grandchildren?
o Are any of your grandchildren disabled?
o Do all of your children get along?
o Are your parents living?
o Do you have siblings?
o Do you have health concerns?
o Does your spouse have health concerns?
o Do you own real estate?
o Do you own real estate in more than one state/country?
o Do you have retirement accounts?
o Do you have life insurance?
o Do you have investment accounts?
o Do you have an LLC?
o Do you have an S-Corp?
o Do you have a C-Corp?
o Are you involved with any Contracts for Deed?
o If you or your spouse needs nursing home care in the future, how do you plan to pay for that?
o Have you added one of children’s names to your bank account or your home?
o Have you been through a probate?
o What is the total value of your taxable estate?
If you’re taking estate planning advice from someone who doesn’t know all of these things about you and your family, there’s a good chance that the advice will not serve you well in the long run. Estate planning is complicated and personal and difficult. Just like weight loss. When we look for shortcuts to make it uncomplicated, generic and easy, we do ourselves and our family a disservice.
So, whether you’re trying to lose weight or thinking about estate planning, my advice is the same -
Do the work. Put in the time. Educate yourself. Ask yourself the hard questions. Don’t look for shortcuts/magic pills. Don’t blindly follow the advice of your neighbor/brother/banker /financial advisor/Larry from the coffeeshop/Facebook post/Instagram Reel – no matter how well-meaning they are. True, personal, meaningful results require time and hard work. Let’s do the work.
