10/25/2024
Dearest Feral Reader-
As you have proven to be nothing close to “gentle”, I fear that if my writings are to continue-you need some clarification.
Also-you may require va**um, but that is not to me to prescribe.
1.) This is not Bridgerton and I am not Lady Whistledown. It is not my intention, desire or motivation to “oust” any lawyer, client, assistant, Judge or case. I have wanted to be a writer since I stole my father’s typewriter at 7 years old and documented the elaborate and fantastical fairytales he created-instead of reading Cinderella. I attended OU for a creative writing degree and figured after graduation since there were not many dollars that would be paid for my words, I needed a backup plan.
2.) Law school came and even though John Grisham could make a living writing at night and practicing law during the day-I had no such luck. The years added kids, taxes, dogs and a shoe addiction, meaning that once upon a time, I wanted to put words on paper-and not only those words in pleadings. However, this career has added some of the most hilarious, ridiculous and outrageous moments, stories and “WTF” just happened at the Courthouse events. There is a reason no one stands next to an oil and gas attorney at bar functions. Find the family and/or criminal lawyer, hand them a drink and take a seat.
3.) I am so glad that you all are enjoying this. But in the end, I write for me. While there is a bit of truth in all things some of what you read; perhaps a particular post happened all at once; over the course of a career; years of cases melding together and some of what I’ve heard and what others have told me, or before my morning coffee on my cell phone.
4.) I am bound by the duty of confidentiality. Which means I will not divulge anyone’s name, county of court case, time of day, or even confirm that these musings are about anyone in particular. If you are reading this or any of my ramblings and think “is this about me?”, most assuredly it is not. But if there is a kernel of truth that hits you in the stomach or in the soul-it is called divine intervention, or an invitation to remove your head from your re**um. Or maybe it is about you. Maybe it’s Maybelline. You may never really know.
5.) NO amount of bribery, texting, direct messaging me or calling me to pry information will be given. I can’t. I won’t. Because this is all too damn much fun.
6.) This is my outlet. And your girl is finally back behind the keyboard for something more than just professionally calling someone a dipsh*t in a pleading. For reference that is drafted as “the litigant continues to behave in a manner not becoming of being a responsible adult, let alone a parent.”
7.) Keep your arms, legs, head and attitude inside the ride at all times because this is for entertainment purposes only. No one needs to puke from over stimulation.
Thank you all for being here. If the tour through the hell that is my career is fun for you-I’m the girl at the front of the line offering to be your tour guide. Everyone just calm down about whether or not I’m trying to p**s off the entire legal profession. I’m not.
Or maybe I am.
Yours Truly,
Lindsey
