10/09/2026
CRITTER CHRONICLES: SPAGHETTI MODELS, WINDY HEIFERS & THE FOLKS KEEPING OUR ASSES SAFE
Y’all, we give our meteorologists a whole lot of hell during hurricane season.
Between the spaghetti models, pool noodle predictions, cones of uncertainty, and weather graphics that look like somebody raided the kindergarten arts and crafts closet, we have PLENTY of material to work with.
But this morning, I want to give credit where credit is due.
Practicing law is a whole lot like predicting the weather.
You can study every fact, prepare for every possibility, and feel pretty confident about what’s coming.
Then one witness opens their mouth during trial, says something completely unexpected, and your entire case takes a hard left into a damn ditch.
Mother Nature operates about the same way.
Even with millions of dollars in technology, nobody can crawl inside a hurricane and say, “Listen here, you big windy heifer. What the hell are you planning to do, and could you PLEASE make up your mind?”
Trust me, if hurricanes had to answer interrogatories under oath, I’d have a whole new practice area.
But while we’re sitting on our couches, sipping our beverages of choice, demolishing our hurricane snacks, and hollering at Ole Jim to keep his butt in Florida, thousands of people are WORKING to keep us safe.
Meteorologists, reporters, camera crews, emergency management personnel, police officers, deputies, firefighters, EMTs, dispatchers, hospital workers, utility crews, public works employees, and countless others.
Across Mississippi, Alabama, Louisiana, and Florida, these folks are preparing, responding, reporting, and standing ready to help.
Some are working around the clock.
Some are leaving their own families at home.
Some will be out in absolutely miserable conditions while the rest of us are arguing over whether it’s too early to start the gumbo.
Every single one of them deserves our gratitude.
Because when the wind starts howling, the power goes out, and things get downright ugly, these are the people we depend on.
So from the bottom of this smartass Southern lawyer’s heart, THANK YOU.
Thank you for the long hours, the missed family time, the sleepless nights, and the work most people never see.
We may joke about your spaghetti models, holler at the television, and threaten to send Ole Jim back to Florida with a one-way ticket, but please know how much we appreciate every single one of you.
May this storm turn into a whole lot of nothing, may your shifts be boring, and may every one of you make it home safely.
Because the only thing better than a well-predicted hurricane is one that doesn’t show up to the damn party.
Stay safe, South Mississippi, and to everyone working to protect our communities, THANK YOU!