Miller Law Group

09/02/2026

One quiet reassurance I offer almost every week: if you're afraid your spouse will cash out a retirement account before your divorce even begins, New York law is more protective than you might think.

Once a divorce is filed and served, the Automatic Orders take effect for both spouses. With limited exceptions, retirement accounts cannot be withdrawn or transferred without written consent or the court's permission. And if money disappears before filing, courts can factor that dissipation into how the remaining marital property is divided. Taking it early doesn't mean keeping it.

The practical step? Quietly gather your account statements now, so you have a clear picture of what exists. Knowledge, not confrontation, is your best first move.

If this fear is weighing on you, we're glad to help you think it through. Reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766 or schedule a conversation at https://miller-law.com/contact-us/.

09/01/2026

"In New York, retirement savings built during a marriage belong to the marriage, no matter whose name is on the account. Even if a spouse empties an account before filing, courts can still count every dollar when dividing marital property."

— Katherine Eisold Miller, Miller Law Group

08/31/2026

A client once told me she lay awake at night picturing her husband quietly draining his 401(k) before either of them said the word "divorce" out loud. She wasn't angry. She was frightened. And she asked me the question I hear so often: "Can he really just take it?"

Here's what I told her, and what I want you to know if you're carrying that same fear.

In New York, when a divorce action is filed and served, a set of court rules called the Automatic Orders takes effect for both spouses. With narrow exceptions, neither spouse may withdraw from or transfer retirement accounts, including 401(k)s, IRAs, and pensions, without the other's written consent or the court's approval. The accounts are, in a very real sense, frozen in place so that everything can be divided fairly.

But what about the weeks or months before anyone files? Even then, you are not without protection. New York treats retirement savings built during the marriage as marital property, no matter whose name is on the account. If a spouse empties an account before filing, courts can treat that as wasteful dissipation and account for every dollar when dividing what remains. Spending it does not erase it from the ledger.

So if this worry is keeping you up at night, start gently: gather recent statements, know your account balances, and talk with someone who understands the process. In my experience, most spouses are not scheming, and a little information goes a long way toward calming that fear. But knowing the law protects you either way is what lets you approach divorce from a place of steadiness rather than panic.

If you'd like to talk through your own situation, you're welcome to reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766 or schedule a conversation through https://miller-law.com/contact-us/.

08/26/2026

When people think of divorce, they usually think the most important question is “Who gets the house?” But there’s another aspect that can be much more important: health insurance.

If you've relied on your spouse’s employer-sponsored healthcare, losing that coverage before you are eligible for Medicare at 65 can be financially devastating. A single medical emergency without adequate coverage can quickly lead to immense debt when you no longer have the career runway to easily re-earn those financial losses.

But there are practical solutions when both spouses are willing to work together. In a collaborative process, we prioritize securing each party’s finances first. We can calmly negotiate terms that cover COBRA premiums, structure support to specifically offset insurance costs, or structure legal filings to bridge the gap to Medicare safely. It’s about securing your long-term physical and financial well-being.

Considering a grey divorce in New York or Connecticut? Learn how to protect your assets, retirement, and health insurance. Contact Miller Law Group...

08/25/2026

❌️ MISCONCEPTION: Divorcing later in life guarantees financial ruin and the loss of your retirement.

👉️ REALITY: While the timeline to rebuild assets is shorter, a collaborative divorce allows for creative, mutually beneficial financial restructuring. With mediation, you can protect your healthcare, preserve your nest egg, and transition with confidence.

08/24/2026

I speak with spouses going through divorce in their late fifties and sixties every single week. When you are decades into your career, the financial conversation surrounding a “grey divorce” is fundamentally different than it is for younger couples.

Often, the biggest source of anxiety I hear is not about who is right or wrong or who will “win” the divorce. Rather, it is about what happens to their future healthcare and retirement. I am often asked: “Will I lose access to my spouse’s health insurance?” “How can I deal with a medical emergency if I am on a fixed income?”, “How can we afford to live separately if we divide the 401(k) or pension in half? Will there be enough to live comfortably for the rest of our lives?”

These are important questions that deserve thorough answers. However, finding a solution does not require a knives-out legal battle. In fact, traditional divorce litigation is often funded by the very same resources you are trying to preserve. It’s all too common for divorcing spouses to spend months or years in court trying to “win”...only to end up losing their retirement.

By choosing a collaborative, mediation-first path, we can all sit down and look at your financial realities together. This avoids time-consuming, expensive courtroom litigation and can help both parties get a solution that works for them.

For example, mediation often results in structured agreements that safely account for newly fixed incomes, Medicare timelines, COBRA costs, and long-term care needs. This can allow both you and your spouse to exit mediation without having an existential fear over what happens next.

If you're contemplating a grey divorce and want to talk through what your specific financial picture might look like, I'd welcome the conversation. Feel free to reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766, or visit our contact page to get in touch.

Considering a grey divorce in New York or Connecticut? Learn how to protect your assets, retirement, and health insurance. Contact Miller Law Group...

08/22/2026

Many spouses bring up mediation for the first time by leading with how much money it will save. It’s a reasonable place to start. It’s also usually the wrong one.

Mediation is typically less expensive than a litigated divorce, and it moves faster. But to a spouse who already feels ambushed, “This will save money” can come across as “I’ve been running the numbers on our marriage without you.” Now you’re negotiating before either of you has agreed to negotiate. The discussion ends before it ever really starts.

Lead with control instead. In mediation, the two of you decide how your assets are divided and how you will co-parent. In court, those decisions belong to a judge who will know your family for an afternoon. When you frame it as taking control, it tends to reach the spouse who is most afraid of losing their footing — often the person resisting hardest.

Resolve divorce peacefully with Miller Law's NY & CT mediation, saving time, cost and conflict. Call today to schedule your mediation consultation.

08/21/2026

❌️ MISCONCEPTION: If your spouse gets defensive when you raise the idea, mediation is off the table.

👉️ REALITY: Defensiveness is usually a reaction to being handed a decision, not a rejection of the process. Given time and better information, resistant spouses often become the ones most committed to staying out of court.

08/20/2026

The divorce conversation tends to happen somewhere ordinary, at the end of a normal day, when neither person wants to be the one to say the word out loud. One of you has been preparing for months. The other hasn’t. So the first time mediation comes up, it goes badly, and neither of you brings it up again.

In my experience, that isn’t the same as a no. Defensiveness at the start isn’t a verdict on mediation. It’s a reaction to being handed a decision. The spouse who didn’t initiate the divorce is often hearing a plan that already has a label, a process, and sometimes a date on the calendar. Almost anyone would push back on that.

What I usually suggest is slowing the whole thing down. Mediation doesn’t have to be presented as a decision already made. It can be a question the two of you are still answering. It also helps to talk about what mediation protects. Your privacy. Your ability to decide how your children are parented and your assets are divided. A working relationship you will likely need for years.

Neither New York nor Connecticut requires proof of wrongdoing to end a marriage. That surprises people, and it matters here. A spouse bracing to be blamed is often bracing for a fight that no longer has to happen, and saying so out loud can help lower the temperature of everything that follows.

None of this means every situation belongs in mediation. Some don’t, and I’ll tell you honestly when that’s the case. There is no rush, but there’s real value in understanding your options before you decide.

If you’re considering mediation and not sure where to begin, you’re welcome to reach out to our team at (914) 738-7766 or through our contact page to schedule a conversation.

Contact Miller Law's New York & Connecticut divorce attorneys for compassionate family law guidance. Message or call us today to schedule a consult...

08/19/2026

Here's something I wish more people knew before they start dividing assets: a bonus and an RSU grant that look identical on paper can be treated very differently in a divorce.

Why? Timing. A cash bonus paid out during the marriage is usually straightforward. An equity grant awarded during the marriage but vested well after the divorce is finalized is a different story. It requires figuring out what portion reflects work already done versus work an employee hasn't performed yet. New York courts typically use a time-based approach to make that split fair.

The takeaway: don't assume "not vested yet" means "not on the table." And don't assume it's automatically 50/50, either. These assets deserve a real look, ideally with both spouses working from the same accurate picture.

Learn how unvested RSUs and performance shares are divided in New York divorce cases. Protect your equity compensation with Miller Law Group. Contact us today.