01/23/2025
This is not personal experience but is excellent advice!!
I was out to lunch with Bill, a retired colleague, and he told me about his recent experience. He hadn’t seen his "healthy as a horse" neighbor for a while. A few days ago, Bill was astonished to see his neighbor—who used to be the picture of health—standing on his driveway, looking like a mere shell of his former self. Apparently, this once vibrant guy could barely walk and seemed to have aged about 20 years in a matter of days. He called Bill over, explained that he had some undiagnosed illness, and asked for advice on how to get his affairs in order. Bill, ever the helpful guy, said, “Well, I’m not a lawyer, but I’m happy to share what I’ve done." I could tell this experience really shook Bill up.
You hit a certain age, and suddenly you’re getting calls from friends that start with: “Did you hear?” They’ll then go on to inform you about the sudden passing of some former colleague or friend. These are people I actually liked, by the way, and they were kind to me. It got me thinking about what I call The Checkout List. Maybe you've seen one of my posts about trimming down my wardrobe—discarding stuff I’ll never wear? Yeah, that's part of the checklist. And, by the way, those three sock drawers are still waiting for me. No rush.
Now, I know for some, talking about death is considered morbid, but I always liked the quote, “Dying is like getting caught in the rain.” Inevitable. Couldn’t find out who actually said it, but it stuck with me. Maybe it was one of those deep philosophers, like, I don’t know, Anonymous?
Of course, Benjamin Franklin had his own spin on it with, “In this world, nothing can be said to be certain except death and taxes.” Which, frankly, sounds like something I’d say after a particularly frustrating tax season.
So, when my relatives are telling jokes about my many eccentricities after I’m gone, I hope they’ll at least say, “Yeah, Ray was Ray, but he had his stuff together.” Because I really owe it to the poor souls who will have to clean up after me.
Here’s a quick list of key items for your Checkout List. You’ll find plenty of checklists online, but mine has a touch of flair (and maybe some sarcasm) for your reading pleasure.
Plan for your estate and finances. You know, boring stuff like a will, a durable power of attorney for finances, and a living will. Might be a good idea if you don’t want to leave your family scrambling to figure out what you meant by "the blender" in your will.
Put your important papers and copies of legal documents in one place. Seriously, it’s not that hard. And please, provide a list of your usernames and passwords. Your loved ones will thank you when they don’t have to guess whether your password is your dog’s name or your high school nickname.
Tell someone you trust (or, ideally, a lawyer) where to find your important papers. Trust me, no one wants to go hunting through your attic for that one elusive document you “definitely left in a safe place.”
Organize your stuff. Look, when my mother-in-law passed—lovely lady, by the way—it took weeks and three garage sales to get rid of her stuff, and we still didn’t manage it. It was like a never-ending episode of Hoarders. You don’t need to save the curtains from the 1960s. Seriously.
I’m hoping to stick around for a lot more years (fingers crossed), but let’s face it, those friends who are already gone had the same hopes.
Feel free to share your thoughts, feelings, and experiences—because who doesn’t love a good, existential discussion over lunch?
