The Law & Mediation Office of Jenna Williams, Inc.

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The Law & Mediation Office of Jenna Williams, Inc.

Family Law and Mediation Services. Jenna handles all aspects of divorce, child custody, and support

04/07/2021

I liked this article from Mediate.com about divorcing couples in the "Muddy Time" - the time in between the decision to divorce and when the actual divorce is made final.

"The Muddy Time is a time of frustration, difficult emotions, fear, and anxiety; and it can feel like it’s lasting a lifetime when you’re in it. Keep a calm head and remember that this is a temporary phase. Remember to aim for the status quo, muster as much restraint and temperance as you can, and try to work together."

Some of us call it the muddy time. It’s the time in between the decision to divorce and when the actual divorce is made final.

02/17/2021

This woman's experience getting a divorce in the middle of the pandemic is raw, honest, and illuminating. I recommend it to anyone going through a divorce currently (perhaps you can relate to her experience), or to professionals working with those in the midst of a divorce (perhaps it will give you, as it did me, more perspective on where your clients are emotionally).

The writer is conflicted about the pain she feels about the end of her marriage when people all over the world are dying from COVID-19.

02/10/2021

How do we as mediators best serve our clients? The Center for Understanding in Conflict says bring yourself fully into the room (even if it's the "Zoom" room). We as the mediator have an incredible effect on our clients and their ability to do the work.

This is an excerpt from "Trauma and Conflict," an article from The Center for Understanding in Conflict by Catherine Conner and Laurie Phuong Ertley:

"Humans are open nervous systems—our eyes take in light, our ears hear sounds—and we are naturally affected and influenced by other open circuits. When we, the professionals, are settled in our bodies, our physiological responses, such as a slower and steadier heartbeat, naturally draw people to us and help them to become more settled. Furthermore, the more we feel inside our own skin, the less we will activate another person’s internal trauma network. Sometimes it may be as simple as interrupting the negative feedback cycle by everyone taking a drink of water, which creates a pause and a sense of safety as our body resets itself."

The article can be accessed here: https://understandinginconflict.org/trauma-and-conflict/

There is also a webinar on Trauma and Conflict on February 17, 2021 - learn more here: https://understandinginconflict.org/event/trauma-and-conflict/

Trauma’s reach is visible and invisible, transitory and ever present, and powerful. Parties in a conflict may have trauma from childhood, from their

01/27/2021

Everyone is asking how COVID-19 will affect . My take away from this article: The pandemic has caused Court delays and logistical nightmares with the litigation process, which only exacerbates the financial strain and uncertainty families are feeling with lost jobs, school closures, etc. My advice to divorcing clients: mediate. is more efficient, less expensive, and gives the parties control over the process and outcome of their matter.

How COVID Has Changed Divorce

12/08/2020

For divorced parents struggling with co-parenting: read this article from Scary Mommy. Dr. Melissa Roy shares what she learned after her own messy divorce that helped her have a healthy relationship with her co-parent.

"During the breakup I clung to Paulo Coelho’s words from The Alchemist: 'If you’re brave enough to say goodbye, life will reward you with a new hello.' I knew we had to say goodbye to the relationship we once had and find a way to make peace with the split. Only then would we be free to re-imagine a new relationship that was based not on our love for each other but on our love for our children. This was critical to the survival of our family."

Avoid speaking badly about the other parent and their family.

11/12/2020

One challenge in mediation is steering clients away from "all-or-nothing" thinking - when they believe that there is one outcome that will solve all of their problems.

This article from Psychology Today explains that this kind of thinking "prevents us from considering alternatives, balancing reason and emotion, or envisioning a future with any other possibilities; thus, we are unprepared when things don’t go our way or circumstances change." Our rigidity ultimately hurt us.

We can, however, train ourselves to engage in flexible thinking. The article suggests: (1) Avoid using words that indicate only one good option or outcome; (2) Be careful about placing high value on particular things, people, and situations while denying the potential value of others; (3) Remember that our circumstances are often temporary.

Change the way you think about outcomes.

09/30/2020

Forbes discusses the importance of Premarital and Postmarital agreements for business owners in this article. Personal/marital finances can be particularly complicated for these parties, so defining ownership rights in advance provides much needed clarity in situations that can otherwise become very messy.

A prenuptial agreement, or prenup, gives you an opportunity to set forth directives of how your business would be handled in the event of divorce.

08/12/2020

Navigating conflict is hard. Children need our help to develop the skills to do so. This article from The Washington Post provides suggestions for how we as adults can help children work through challenging feelings and situations:

1. Empower your children to take ownership of their emotions
2. Give your children tools they can access in conflict
3. Listen to understand, not to respond
4. Model and teach healthy conflict simultaneously

"Modeling healthy conflict [] extends to the way we talk to (and talk about) people with opposing views: family, neighbors, friends on social media and — yes — even strangers on a public stairway. It can also mean debriefing our children after a conflict: 'This person might think this way for this reason. Here’s what I believe and why. What do you think?' Right now, our children are watching how we handle conflict. It’s important that they also see how we resolve it, which won’t always be to come to a consensus. We might simply agree to disagree, with love."

Modeling healthy conflict extends to the way we talk to (and talk about) people with opposing views: family, neighbors, friends on social media and — yes — even maskless strangers in a pandemic.

07/15/2020

Psychology Today published this beautiful article about forgiveness today - "How to Forgive Like Nelson Mandela."

Reflecting on his release from a life sentence in a South African prison, Mandela said "As I walked out the door toward the gate that would lead to my freedom, I knew if I didn't leave my bitterness and hatred behind, I'd still be in prison."

The article explains: "If one thing is certain, it’s that painful experiences are a part of life, and how we deal with sorrow, loss, and the hurtful acts of others is central to resilience and necessary for positive change and growth. . . . As the Persian poet Jalaluddin Rumi so sublimely said, 'The wound is the place where the light enters you.'"

Read the full article to see the 9 steps to forgiveness.

Here are nine steps to forgiveness.

Address

1801 Century Park East, 24th Floor
Los Angeles, CA
90067

Website

http://www.jennawilliamsesq.com/

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