06/11/2020
David Meyer Dear FB followers,
Congratulations to Kathy Haddock on being chosen to receive the Toyota Sienna.
First, I would like to thank all of those people who replied to the Facebook post. It was a tough decision, as there are many fantastic foster/adoptive parents. I do not want those who were not chosen to feel that they somehow don’t do enough, because you are all heroes! This is the second Sienna that has been given away, and I hope it is not the last one to be given away. So make sure to like the page; so you will get notice of any future events such as this one.
Finally, if this had been a contest regarding the number of nominations, Teresa, you would have won hands down. However, I have included the letter from the family that ended up receiving the Toyota as you can see, the committee had a tough job choosing from so many worthy people.
We received several applications and then nothing. It was decided to choose now (instead of waiting until July 4th) between the persons who had submitted their information regarding their needs.
Kathy Haddock was chosen. She has allowed me to post her story. Please congratulate her and like the page to stay up to date if we do this again.
Greetings!
I am a single foster mom in Aurora. Missouri. I currently have 5 boys; 3 are adopted and 2 are foster placements. The challenge is that I have a car with 5 seat belts so I have been shopping for a bigger vehicle.
The Sienna also interests me because it has an easy modification to make it accessible. My youngest has Cerebral Palsy and uses a wheelchair. This means that anything that is big enough for my family (Explorer, Yukon, Suburban) is typically too tall for my son to climb into without the use of his legs. Toyota has a captain’s chair that will pivot out and set on the ground for an easy chair to chair transfer.
I became a foster parent after working with my son as a home health aid for about three years while he was in foster care. He was in a home separate from his siblings because most foster homes do not have a home that is set up for wheelchairs. After working for reunification for many years the team identified an adoptive family for my sons and their sisters. After a few weeks, they changed their minds. So I found myself as a single person with a degree in education and a not-so great-job and a great need to find a forever family for these guys. That’s when you get to the point that the question changes from “How can I possibly do this?” to “How can I possibly not do this?”
So I sent an email, found an apartment that was big enough, and 4 days later I had a kid. I knew the family, so I qualified as “kinship.” I spent the next 3 months finishing my foster license and two years later, I adopted brothers that had been in care for just short of 6 years. About two years later, and a few other teenage boys that came and went, I adopted my middle son after he spent a little over 4 years in state’s custody.
In the interest of personal survival, I spent much of the last few years learning everything I could about trauma, and brain development, and attachment. Now I work for a group in Monett that supports families that are involved with the child welfare system: first (biological) families, resource families, adoptive families, and extended families as they navigate super hard parenting experiences. We are in the process of filing for Not for Profit status and are working on partnerships with several area organizations that support families. I also freelance for a team out of Minnesota that has an online support group for families and educators that have a need to learn more about trauma and support each other along the way.
This last April (after I swore that I would not take a placement during COVID) my oldest came to live with us and a few weeks later I said yes to my 5th guy. The other boys protested that we didn’t have enough seat belts, but I was able to counter that “We weren’t going anywhere anyway!” Besides, after three statewide emails looking for a family for a 13-year-old boy that has been in foster care for more than 4 years, the caseworker had 3 names. Three possible homes in the entire state of Missouri. There just aren’t enough homes that accept teenagers.
So that’s us in a nutshell (and it is pretty nutty.) We would love to have a bigger car but we have some pretty specific needs regarding accessibility and number of seatbelts and the Sienna is a top contender. The boys are very excited about the opportunity to receive this vehicle, but they told me that if someone else gets it then that means they need it more. Honestly, we manage being short a seatbelt (it’s not the first time it’s happened) we just have to be very intentional about planning trips for everyone to go together.
I am very excited to see you supporting area resource families in this way and I hope that this is a great opportunity to encourage other families to start the training to help as well. (We are doing around of online classes to train prospective resource parents in July.)
Sincerely
Kathy Haddock
