04/24/2023
April 25th is Parental Alienation Awareness Day ("PAAD") in the US and Canada.
Children's own needs are often pushed aside when one or more of their parents have challenges in their own lives or when the parents are in conflict.
The stereotypical example of parental alienation is when one parent turns a child against the other parent and/or the in-laws. But, parental alienation can happen in any parental relationship, married or unmarried. Alienation includes any behavior, verbal or otherwise, that causes a child to believe that one parent or an in-law(s) has caused all the problems or is someone that should be avoided, disrespected, feared or even hated. No matter how nonviolent it may seem, it is aggressive and will have long-term effects on the child.
Don't let your child become a casualty of the challenges in your life, relationship or divorce.
IF YOU BELIEVE your child is the victim of parental alienation, a list of specially trained and qualified professionals available for Zoom or in-person conversations can be found here: http://www.collaborativecfl.com/facilitators.html.
In the meantime, the Parental Alienation Awareness Organization ("PAAO") of the US provides the following tips to help you navigate the situation and more information on their website at https://www.paaousa.org/index.php/about/faq:
* Do not argue or get defensive with your child, it creates bad feelings and is not likely to change his/her mind.
* Let your child know that you have a different understanding of the situation and you would be willing to share your perspective if and when the child is interested.
* Continue, in and any possible way, to let the child know that he/she is loved.
* Control your own anger and stay calm, even when hurt or frustrated.
* Hold yourself to the highest possible standard of behavior (do not give the alienating parent ammunition).
* Work on improving your own parenting skills.
* Always call/pick up the child at scheduled times, and be there even if you know the child won't be available.
* Create positive experiences/memories with your child.
* Provide mental health treatment for yourself and your child with professionals experienced with parental alienation.
* Build a support network with friends, family, community resources, and support groups.
* Become educated and help others involved with your child to learn more about parental alienation.
* Attempt to work constructively with the other parent, either directly or through mediation.
* Continue to attempt positive communication, on a regular basis, even if the child rejects or ignores it.
Photo courtesy of gratisography.com.