11/29/2021
A message for parents embarking on their first holiday season navigating separation or divorce, from Heidi Stevens' Balancing Act:
"This year will not be what we've always done. This year will be what we’ve never done. I couldn’t be happier.
We will have a pink Christmas tree.
My daughter asked, 'Who’s going to put up our Christmas tree? It's really hard, and daddy’s the only one who knows how!'
'Hmm,' I said. 'I wonder if you’d help me shop for a new one. One that’s easier to put up?'
She started to brighten.
'Yes! We can get a new one! Can it be pink?'
Can it be pink. Yes, it can be pink! It can be all the things it's never been because it can't be all the things it used to be.
This year we’re creating, not re-creating. This year, I finally realized, my kids don’t need to live my childhood. (Idyllic, nuclear, traditional.) They need to live theirs."
When a divorce takes the usual holiday traditions off the table, a pink tree can pave the way for new ones.