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09/09/2024
No Time to Schmooze?
The Importance of Small Talk
By
Thomas C. Watts III Esq. LLM. FCIArb*
In any negotiation, the process is as much about the relationship between the parties as it is about the deal itself. Schmoozing is an effective tool in building trust, rapport, and confidence among negotiating parties. This seemingly casual aspect of negotiation often sets the tone for the discussions, laying the groundwork for smoother, more productive interactions.
Negotiations, especially in legal or business contexts tend towards the transactional and the adversarial. Schmoozing softens the edges of these formal discussions by allowing the parties to connect on a personal level. Casual conversation, whether about mutual interests, hobbies, or shared experiences, helps humanize the individuals at the table. People are more likely to trust and engage in positive-sum negotiation when they see the other party as a relatable individual rather than a faceless adversary.
Trust is a cornerstone of any successful negotiation. Engaging in informal conversations before entering the "hard" part of the negotiation fosters an environment of goodwill. It eases tension, making both parties feel more comfortable. When people feel at ease, they are more likely to be open, transparent, and willing to collaborate on finding mutually beneficial solutions. Schmoozing provides a non-threatening space where this trust can begin to grow.
Schmoozing also serves as an opportunity to gain informal insights into the other party’s perspectives and concerns. Casual conversation often reveals preferences, priorities, and even potential deal-breakers that may not emerge in the formal negotiation phase. By listening carefully, one can gather valuable information that helps shape negotiation strategies, providing subtle advantages.
Negotiations require compromise, and compromise is more likely to occur in an atmosphere of mutual respect and understanding. Schmoozing helps create that atmosphere by fostering a sense of camaraderie. Parties that feel connected on a personal level may be more willing to find creative solutions that benefit everyone involved. It encourages problem-solving rather than a rigid adherence to positional bargaining.
People prefer to negotiate with those they like and feel comfortable with. Schmoozing enhances your likability, which can increase the other party’s confidence in your intentions and capabilities. It reinforces the idea that you are approachable, reasonable, and willing to engage in good-faith discussions.
Schmoozing is more than just idle chit-chat; it is a strategic element of negotiation that helps build trust, reduce tension, gather insights, and foster a collaborative atmosphere. By investing in relationship-building before and during negotiations, parties can increase the likelihood of reaching a mutually satisfactory agreement while strengthening long-term professional relationships.
*Thomas C Watts is a fellow of the Charted Institute of Arbitrators, London England, an arbitrator with American Arbitration Association arbitrator, MC3 certified mediator and an adjunct professor of law teaching Alternative dispute resolution. He lectures widely on subject relevant to the effective resolution of disputes Having earned a Master of Laws in Dispute Resolution from the prestigious Straus Institute at the Pepperdine School of Law. Mr. Watts has extensive subject matter expertise in the arbitration and mediation of commercial, real estate and construction matters.
