06/04/2026
Please stop telling foster children they’re lucky.
They’re not lucky to be in foster care.
They’re not lucky to be separated from everything they’ve ever known.
They’re not lucky to be carrying grief, confusion, fear, and trauma in little bodies that were never designed to hold that much pain.
You see the child in clean clothes.
You see the smile in the family photo.
You see the birthday party.
The Christmas presents.
The safe home.
And you call them lucky.
But you didn’t see what it cost them to get there.
You didn’t see the middle of the night removal.
You didn’t see the fear.
You didn’t see the goodbye.
You didn’t see the tears.
You didn’t see the child trying to make sense of a world that stopped making sense.
You didn’t see them wonder if it was their fault.
You didn’t see them miss people they love.
You didn’t see them carry loyalty conflicts no child should ever have to carry.
You didn’t see the nights they cried themselves to sleep.
Or the months it took before they trusted anyone enough to believe they were staying.
They’re not lucky.
They’re surviving.
They’re healing.
They’re learning how to feel safe again.
And yes, some children find homes that are safe, stable, and full of love.
Thank God for that.
But safety is not luck.
Being fed is not luck.
Having clean clothes is not luck.
Being protected is not luck.
Those are things every child should have had from the very beginning.
The goal should never be for a child to lose everything and then be called lucky because someone finally met their basic needs.
And here’s the part people miss.
A child can be deeply loved and still deeply grieving.
A child can be safe and still heartbroken.
A child can love the family raising them and still miss the family they lost.
Those things can exist together.
So please stop calling them lucky.
Call them loved.
Call them brave.
Call them strong.
Call them worthy.
But don’t call them lucky.
Because lucky would have been growing up safe in the first place.