04/03/2023
Leaders, Sellers, Parents, Humans, š Hereš
CTTO:
We are raising five gold fishes at home. The thing with the gold fishes is that four of the five gold fishes are always hiding in the corner. As in always. When we look at it, we found out that the biggest fish, the one that is swimming all around, has always been bullying and fighting the four smaller fishes. That was our theory on why the other four smaller fishes always hide on the corner near the oxygen.
And then one day, we put a partition in the aquarium between the big bully gold fish and the smaller four gold fishes. And you know what? The other four fishes started swimming around. They are now out of their hiding places.
And then it hit me. Humans, believe it or not, are the same. Whenever we are facing someone who we feel will attack us, our tendency is to hide. And how do people attack us or how do we attack others? Gone are the days when others would physically bully us. Now, people attack others through words and we attack others through verbal communication. We criticize others. We complain and grumble about how our manager sucks. We throw shades at people we donāt āfeel.ā We insult others so we feel better about ourselves.
The result of this is that people tend to hide from us. Whenever they see us or think about us, they hide physically or emotionally. They are wary of us. Whenever they hear us, their brains are already warning them of danger, because to them we are dangerousā¦ emotionally.
So here is what we want to say: if wala naman tayong magandang sasabihin, shut up nalang. In English, as much as possible, do not criticize. Yes, the temptation to criticize is very satisfying. If we criticize others, it feels as if we have won. Yet, at the end of the day, the only thing that matters is whether or not we have won people over and we donāt win people over when they see us as a threat.
If you are a leader, donāt criticize as much. Rather than criticizing, we can instead lead them in the right way.
If you are a parent, donāt criticize as much to your children. If you ever wonder why they always āhideā from you, maybe thatās the reason. Instead, lead them to become better people.
If you are a salesperson, donāt criticize your prospectās bad decisions in the past or in the now. Instead, we can empathize and see from the prospectās point of view. We can then speak from the prospectās viewpoint and let them know we understand them. In the end, we can then lead them to the right decision for them.
So as much as possible, do not condemn or complain or criticize. We might feel we have won yet we lose that person we want to lead. In the end, we still lose.
š·Mine
