Kiwilaw

Kiwilaw Innovative legal practice - ‘unbundled legal services’ include a nationwide online 'probate serv Neither should you.

'Yield to principle, not to pressure.' We don't give in to bullying. We provide:

* Free initial information on the process required to obtain letters of administration or probate for your loved one

* Cost-effective, legally-correct documents for probate or letters of administration for a lot less $$ than other lawyers charge and without having to go to a lawyer's office

* Resealing of overseas grants of administration, when there are New Zealand assets

* Applications to validate an invalid will - if there's a document that isn't signed or witnessed correctly that definitely says what your loved one wanted when they died

* 'Transmissions' of land after someone dies - to the other joint owner of the house, or to the executors/administrators of your loved one's estate

* Cost-effective wills - by ordering blank will forms, or by using an online interview to produce a will that you then print and get signed

* Help to uplift your loved one's will if it is held by another lawyer

* Guidance about other aspects of estate administration

12/09/2026

This is why I cannot support any of the coalition parties this election. I have never in my life voted for the Left. I thought National and NZFirst would prevent ACT from overdoing things. I was wrong.

11/09/2026

I wish my parents had known this. For themselves. And for me. But that was then. This is now. This is now possible.

04/09/2026

revive your roar

03/09/2026

Use Kiwilaw’s online will service, or use someone else, that’s okay. Just do it! (Please.)

It still hurts. A lot.
02/09/2026

It still hurts. A lot.

Today is National Grief Awareness Day, set up to counter the shame and hurry that grieving people so often meet. Through the day we'll be sharing extracts from The Little Book of Humanist Funerals.

Starting here: grief is the cost of having loved someone.

A message not only for believers, but for anyone who cares about someone who is grieving. There may indeed be words we c...
29/08/2026

A message not only for believers, but for anyone who cares about someone who is grieving. There may indeed be words we can say, things we can do, that help.

Here’s what your newly bereaved friend wishes you knew, but will never tell you:
_________________________________

—Don't—
Tell me you know exactly how I feel
No one knows exactly how anyone else feels
—Instead—
Tell me you can't imagine how hard this must be

—Don't—
Ask me to let you know if I need anything
I appreciate it, but I don't even know if I ate today
—Instead—
Ask God how you can show me His love in practical ways, then do it

—Don't—
Tell me he's in a better place
That just makes me want to go be with him
—Instead—
Tell me that God stays close to the brokenhearted

—Don't—
Tell me God needed him more than I did
I need him! God doesn't make people widows and orphans for selfish reasons
—Instead—
Admit you don't know why God does what He does, but that He can be trusted

—Don't—
Tell me he's better off
We'd all be better off in Heaven, but that doesn't mean we want our loved ones to hurry up and go there
—Instead—
Tell me how well I loved him and how happy his life was with me

—Don't—
Compare stories
I don't have the capacity to hear them right now
—Instead—
Ask questions and just listen

—Don't—
Expect me to be myself for a while
I know it's hard to watch me like this, but I can't be strong for you right now
—Instead—
Be strong for me by letting me grieve

—Don't—
Tell me how I should or shouldn't feel
My feelings are valid and need to be processed
—Instead—
Help me work through them to find truth and peace

—Don't—
Tell me it'll get better with time
It's impossible for me to see that right now
—Instead—
Tell me you know it hurts and you're sorry

—Don't—
Tell me it gets worse the second year
I won't be able to handle that knowledge
—Instead—
Tell me God's mercy will be there every morning when I awake alone

—Don't—
Tell me I'm so strong
I need to know it's normal to feel like a frightened child right now
—Instead—
Give me permission and space to fall apart

—Don't—
tell me to stop talking/writing about him
That's how I keep his memory alive
—Instead—
Tell me how he impacted your life

—Don't—
Avoid me because I'm always sad
You have no idea how I wish I could escape it!
—Instead—
Sit with me for a while and be thankful you can

—Don't—
Stop inviting me, even if I don't come
I need to be included and one day I'll get the courage to show up
—Instead—
Set that extra place and tell me I'm still wanted

—Don't—
Tell me to focus on my children
I'm already tempted to make them my everything
—Instead—
Tell me what a great job I'm doing and how their dad would be so proud

—Don't—
Tell my children to be strong for me
They just lost their daddy; they need permission to grieve, too
—Instead—
Find ways to help fill the huge void that was just left in their lives

—Don't—
Tell me if/when I should/shouldn't date again
God's plan for my life is mine to figure out
—Instead—
Support my decisions and be there to catch me if I stumble a bit along the way

—Don't—
Talk about me behind my back
It will get back to me and compound my pain
—Instead—
Talk to God about me and hear His heart for the widow

—Don't—
Tell me to be thankful for the years I had
I am! But now I'm looking at the very real prospect of many lonely years ahead.
—Instead—
Make time for me and help me fill the long, lonely days

—Don't—
tell me everything happens for a reason
Unless you know the reason, that's not helpful
—Instead—
Remind me that I am not alone

—Don't—
Give much advice at all
Unless you are a licensed grief therapist, you may do more harm than good
—Instead—
Practice compassion, humility and patience. I will appreciate it later

—Don't —
Prevent me from serving Jesus just because I'm wounded
I need to know that God can still use me and He still has a plan for my life
—Instead—
See my value and encourage me to discover all the ways this new journey is equipping me to minister

—Don't—
Criticize
I'm already so weighed down with guilt, shame and despair, I can hardly lift my head.
—Instead—
Become my biggest cheerleader. I just lost mine, ya know.

—Don't—
Abandon me when I hit rock bottom
I will eventually find the strength to look up
—Instead—
Be there for me when I do

—Don't—
Judge me when I make the wrong choices
I'm having trouble seeing through this fog of grief
—Instead—
Give grace upon grace, and encourage me to give myself grace, too

—Don't—
Forget about me on holidays and birthdays and anniversaries
Every one of them will hit me like a ton of bricks
—Instead—
Invite me into your celebrations so I can make new memories, and let me know you remember on "special" days

—Don't—
Expect me to get over it
I will survive and learn to live again, but I will never be "over" this loss
-Instead—
Love me through it, embracing the new me that emerges on the other side

—Don't—
Underestimate your value in this process
You just might be the difference-maker for which I've prayed
—Instead—
Hang around to see what God can do!

🩷 Audra
_________________________________
For more ideas on how to minister to the hurting, (with supporting Scriptures) check out my book, INSTEAD, on Amazon.

https://amzn.to/4mBDPy6

Nobody forgot about this. The claimants didn’t delay for decades before trying to right the wrong. They didn’t let it li...
19/08/2026

Nobody forgot about this. The claimants didn’t delay for decades before trying to right the wrong. They didn’t let it lie. They persisted and eventually they achieved what should never have taken so long.

180 years is far too long to wait for justice.

Yesterday's passing of the Nelson Tenths Bill is an important step in finally addressing a Crown failure that began in the 1840s.

The Nelson Tenths were not a gift. They were land that Māori were promised and entitled to have retained. That promise was not honoured, and generations of whānau carried the consequences.

A settlement cannot undo 180 years of lost opportunity, whenua, wealth and whakapapa. But it can acknowledge the wrong, return what can be returned, and create a pathway forward.

This is why Te Tiriti matters. Promises made to Māori must mean something — not just today, but for generations to come.

As we move forward, Crown accountability cannot be something Māori have to spend generations fighting for.

Justice delayed for 180 years is still justice worth fighting for.

We have church buildings here too.
09/08/2026

We have church buildings here too.

Every weekday, the heavy wooden doors of Saint Boniface Church in San Francisco unlock. Outside, dozens of men and women wait in the damp morning cold, clutching thin jackets and plastic bags filled with everything they own.

They are not gathering for a standard religious service, and nobody asks them to show an ID, sign a roster, or prove why they are there. They walk down the center aisle, find an empty wooden pew, wrap themselves in a clean blanket, and close their eyes.

San Francisco’s Tenderloin district is known for its steep hills, high rent, and stark social contrasts. By day, tech workers hurry down the sidewalks with laptops and coffee cups. By night, hundreds of unhoused residents try to survive on concrete pavements, constantly alert to noise, weather, and danger. When local night shelters close their doors at break of dawn, street-weary individuals often have nowhere left to go where they can sit or lie down without being told to move along by law enforcement or property owners.

That is where St. Clare's Care at Boniface Church, operating as part of the St. Anthony Foundation, steps in. Having served the Tenderloin community for over 75 years, this vital initiative addresses a fundamental human need that is often overlooked in public conversations about homelessness: restorative sleep. On any given morning, the front half of the church sanctuary serves local parishioners attending daily Mass, while the back two-thirds belong entirely to those who desperately need rest.

Inside the quiet sanctuary, the atmosphere is calm, soft, and deeply respectful. Volunteers move gently down the aisles, handing out dry socks, hygiene kits, lip balm, and fresh blankets. If someone is shivering in their seat, a volunteer silently lays an extra blanket over their shoulders. There are no security guards barking orders and no clocks counting down the minutes.

"When you sleep on the street, you never really sleep," says Marcus, a fifty-two-year-old man who has visited Saint Boniface for three years. "You keep one eye open because you are constantly worried about someone stealing your shoes, taking your bag, or hurting you. When I step inside these doors and lie down on a pew, my nervous system finally shuts off. For six hours, I know I am safe. That safety gives me the strength to survive the next night."

Beyond physical protection from the elements, St. Clare's Care provides basic care services that quietly restore a person’s sense of self-worth. Guests have access to clean restrooms, medical referral consultations, and compassionate peer counseling. Yet, as staff members frequently point out, the most crucial offering is not a physical item—it is unconditional dignity. Nobody is preached at, forced to convert, or required to listen to a lecture in exchange for a warm place to sleep.

"We do not treat our guests as charity cases or problems that need to be solved," explains one long-time volunteer. "We treat them as neighbors. When you look someone in the eyes, learn their name, and offer them a quiet place to rest, you are telling them that their life matters."

In a country where cities increasingly install anti-homeless architecture—such as spiked benches, divided seating, and loud alarm systems designed to deter sleeping in public spaces—Saint Boniface offers a striking, radical alternative. It turns church pews, which are traditionally reserved for Sunday prayer, into sanctuaries of genuine human refuge.

If a house of worship cannot offer shelter to a shivering human being on a cold morning, then what is it actually built for? While city officials spend millions on defensive architecture and aggressive enforcement campaigns to push unhoused people out of sight, a simple parish in the Tenderloin proves that compassion requires neither grand technology nor complex bureaucracy. It only requires opening a door.

>We Are Human Angels<
Authors
Awakening the Human Spirit

We are the authors of 'We Are Human Angels,' the book that has spread a new vision of the human experience and has been spontaneously translated into 14 languages by readers.

We hope our writing sparks something in you!

Worth thinking through - this is mainstream science, and it’s time we older folks caught up with it. (Kids are already l...
08/08/2026

Worth thinking through - this is mainstream science, and it’s time we older folks caught up with it. (Kids are already learning it.)

The highest form of intelligence, according to some researchers, isn't logic, speed, or memory.

It's metacognition, the ability to think about your own thinking.

Metacognition is the brain watching itself. When you "notice yourself thinking," the spotlight turns inward.
You stop being inside the thought. You start examining it.

Neuroscientists have found that during this kind of self-observation, a region in the anterior prefrontal cortex becomes more active.

In plain terms: you have a neural system specifically designed for self-observation. Your brain can study its own code in real time.

A practical example: simple emotion labeling. Saying "I'm anxious" or "I'm angry" changes what the brain is doing. Not metaphorically. Literally.

Research from UCLA suggests that labeling an emotion engages regulatory regions in the prefrontal cortex and dampens activity in the amygdala, the brain's alarm system.

Naming your inner state shifts brain activity.
Awareness itself can alter the pattern.

While metacognition is the ability to think about your own thinking, memory reconsolidation is the ability to recall and edit your own memories.

When you recall an event, the memory becomes temporarily malleable.
For a short window, new context or emotional meaning can be added.
You're not erasing the past.
You're updating how it's stored and remembered.

That is metacognition applied to past experiences.

This is the exact reason reason why some forms of therapy work.
It changes the meaning attached to remembered experience.
The memory stays. The grip it has on you loosens.

Put it together and the picture is striking:
→ You can observe your own thinking.
→ Naming a feeling shifts your brain.
→ Recalling a memory makes it editable.

You are not stuck with your default reactions. You have leverage on them, if you notice them.

So the next time you catch yourself saying:
"Wait, why did I react like that?"
That moment is not trivial.
It's metacognition at work.
And it's often the first step in rewriting what you do next.

We spend our lives inside our thoughts. That single move, noticing instead of reacting, is the difference between living on autopilot and living on purpose.

Your brain is already equipped for it. All you have to do is use it.

Fleming, S. M., & Dolan, R. J. (2012). The neural basis of metacognitive ability. *Philosophical Transactions of the Royal Society (1594), 1338-1349.
https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3318765/

Lieberman, M. D., Eisenberger, N. I., Crockett, M. J., Tom, S. M., Pfeifer, J. H., & Way, B. M. (2007). Putting feelings into words: Affect labeling disrupts amygdala activity in response to affective stimuli, 421-428.
https://sanlab.psych.ucla.edu/wp-content/uploads/sites/31/2015/05/Lieberman_AL-2007.pdf

Nader, K., Schafe, G. E., & LeDoux, J. E. (2000). Fear memories require protein synthesis in the amygdala for reconsolidation after retrieval. (6797), 722-726.
https://www.nature.com/articles/35021052

Scary stuff.
09/03/2026

Scary stuff.

A 79-year-old was missing for nearly an hour before being found in a stairwell.

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