19/11/2025
HARDSHIP — A DETERMINANT OF WHO YOU BECOME, DEPENDING ON HOW YOU HANDLE IT
By C. O. B. Don Tut Puok Majak
Hardship is never meant to destroy us; it is meant to shape us into who we are capable of becoming. The cold hard truth is that hardship weakens those who surrender to it and strengthens those who choose to rise above it. But here lies the good news: weakness or strength is not inherited, it is chosen. Every day, in the face of difficult circumstances, we choose who we become.
Strength begins when you look at impossibility and say, “I will still try, even if I have no idea what comes next.” It begins when those you trust turn away or grow silent, yet you decide to keep moving. Weakness, on the other hand, shows itself in blame. The weak spend their energy pointing fingers; the strong take responsibility, even when it hurts.
Consider this example: two students sit for the same exam, taught by the same teacher. They both fail. When the results come out, their reactions separate their futures.
The weak student says, “I knew we would fail. Our teacher is terrible.”
The strong student says, “I now see why I failed. I should have spent more time studying and consulting others since the teacher was not supportive.”
This simple difference in thinking plants two very different seeds. The weak one continues to fail because they feel justified in failure. The strong one improves because they see no acceptable reason to fail again.
The worst thing you can do to yourself is to justify your failure. Always refuse to believe you should fail, even when you have a trillion reasons to give up. You may succeed in convincing others why you failed, but the more you explain your failure, the more comfortable you become with failing. Surround yourself not with people who justify your excuses, but with those who challenge you: “Even so, you should have done this or that, you still could have succeeded.” That is how strength is cultivated.
Hard times also teach you to face your battles alone. In hardship, the people you expect to help may disappear. In that moment, you must choose who you are becoming. Choosing strength means saying, “I will do it without their help, so that one day they will see me and understand what they walked away from.” Choosing strength means being positively bitter, not with hatred, but with determination. It means silently competing with those who refused to help you without them knowing.That is what is called being positively bitter.
Weakness, on the other hand, is short-term comfort. The weak person sits down, folds their hands, and whispers, “Even if I fail, no one will blame me.” That is the lie that destroys destinies. When people refuse to help, never take the easy comfort of blaming them. Choose positive bitterness, the kind that makes you resilient, creative, and focused. The more challenges you conquer alone, the more people you attract. The more you depend on others to solve your problems, the more people distance themselves from you.
Hardship is also where confidence is born. Every time you handle a challenge, you cast a vote for the person you want to become. And every time you blame someone else, you cast a vote against your progress. Handling a challenge does not mean you must succeed immediately; it simply means accepting that the responsibility for change belongs to you, whether that change comes today or tomorrow.
Here is an example:
Imagine a young person who grows up in camp, facing hunger, sickness, and uncertainty. They fail many times in school because they lack resources or support. But every time they fall, they stand again. They study under scorching heat , they borrow books, they ask questions,not because they have everything, but because they have refused to accept defeat. Years later, people admire their success, forgetting the storms they survived. What built them was not comfort, but hardship, taken with the right mindset.
As I write this message, I, too, am sailing through my own sea of hardship. But I believe that once my health is there and I keep this mindset alive, I will overcome them one day. I know how difficult it is to trust advice from someone who hasn’t yet reached where they aspire to be. But let me ask you this: do you truly know my purpose? Can you tell why I was created? What if I am meant to show you the direction while I still walk my own journey? Even the sun gives light long before reaching the horizon.
Hardship is not the enemy. It is the training ground. What you become depends entirely on how you handle it. I hope you will begin to change how you handle hardship.
