The Uncontested Divorce

12/08/2025

11/04/2025

What is required for successful Divorce Mediation

Successful divorce mediation requires several key elements:
1. Willingness to Cooperate: Both parties should be open to communicating and working together amicably.
2. Preparedness: Participants need to come prepared with all necessary documents, financial information, and a clear idea of their goals.
3. Good Communication Skills: Ability to express needs and listen effectively without hostility.
4. Neutral Mediator: An experienced, impartial mediator to facilitate discussions and help reach a fair agreement.
5. Focus on Goals: Willingness to prioritize mutual interests and long-term benefits over short-term victories.
6. Legal Awareness: Basic understanding of legal rights and obligations can aid informed decision-making.
7. Flexibility and Creativity: Openness to exploring different options and solutions.
8. Confidentiality: Respecting privacy to foster honest and open dialogue.

09/12/2025

Leaders and Limits: How to Set Limits and Impose Consequences with Empathy, Attention and Respect
© 2025 by Bill Eddy, LCSW, Esq.

Leaders set the tone for the culture of their organizations. The leader plays a large role, whether one is a parent in a family; a manager or administrator at work; or head of a homeowners association, condo board, or city council. In order to maintain a healthy and motivated organization, it’s up to the leader to demonstrate how to set limits and impose consequences when necessary. Unfortunately, in today’s world of high-conflict people who regularly push the limits, many leaders are unprepared for this newly essential leadership task.

This article addresses some of the issues about setting limits that leaders in organizations face and also describes our training called New Ways for Work® for Leaders. This article draws on some of the concepts described in our new book SLIC Solutions™ for Conflict: Setting Limits and Imposing Consequences in 2½ Steps, which can be helpful for anyone anywhere and will be available in November, 2025.

High-Conflict Behavior

High-conflict behavior includes a preoccupation with blaming others, a lot of all-or-nothing thinking, unmanaged emotions, and extreme behaviors that 90% of people would never engage in. People with such behavior can show up anywhere in an organization and create difficulties, either as the lowest person in the pecking order, someone in the middle, or even those at or near the top. People with repeated patterns of high-conflict behavior may be 5-10% of adults, so that your likelihood of having to deal with them is very high. There appears to be an increase worldwide in high-conflict behavior since Covid.

Take, for example, a low-level employee who is caught taking office supplies home that he doesn’t need for work. Or a manager who is selling real estate during his work time. Or a surgeon who screams at the nurses in the Operating Room that they are idiots. None of these behaviors are the end of the world and these workers may be very good at their jobs. But these behaviors are also problematic. Should a workplace leader intervene? And how should they do it?

The Assertive Approach

Many leaders have not been trained in management skills. Some of them tend to take a passive approach, which means they often avoid dealing with such problems because there are always more pressing priorities. They just don’t like to confront people and don’t want to make people angry at them.

Other leaders take an aggressive approach, criticizing the employee personally and sometimes publicly. They question the employee’s competence, intelligence, commitment and personal morals. These leaders may believe that humiliating someone will motivate them to act better, although that rarely is the result except in movies and TV shows.

The most successful leaders take an assertive approach. They don’t delay dealing with problems because they know that they may grow much worse. But they also don’t attack the person, they focus on behavior. They want to know the facts of the situation and then want to motivate behavior change once they have enough information. The SLIC Solutions method encourages this approach.

Sooner Rather Than Later

Setting limits and, when necessary, imposing consequences is better done sooner rather than later. In scenario after scenario of difficult organizational behavior we have addressed as High Conflict Institute, we have found that leaders have waited too long to deal with these situations; sometimes a year or two or three. In some cases, good employees have left because they saw that high-conflict behavior was tolerated, even when they reported it. In other cases, high-conflict employees have felt empowered by the lack of consequences and escalated their difficult behavior.

In cases where organizations have been sued, it is not unusual to read the history and find that the problems went back several years before they were seriously confronted. Often this is because the organization wants to give the difficult person a chance—or two or three or four chances. Ironically, once high-conflict behavior reveals itself as a pattern of ongoing behavior, it is very unlikely to change. One of the characteristics of people with high-conflict personalities is that they rarely reflect on their own behavior (it’s always someone else’s fault) and they rarely change. Once this pattern is clear, perhaps after being given one chance to change that had no effect, there is little benefit in additional chances. Yet that means that leaders need to take uncomfortable action sooner. Let me reassure you it will be harder later on, not easier.

Step 1: Setting Limits

Most organizations have rules and policies that lay out what is acceptable behavior and what is not. Most employees follow the rules. Occasionally, a new situation arises that no one faced before so that the rules are not clear. However, the most common situation for setting limits today is that someone violates an obvious limit (like taking supplies, selling real estate during work hours, or screaming at nurses). In these situations, it makes sense for a leader to talk with the person and explain what the limit it.

“Hey buddy. I heard you’re taking supplies home. If that’s true, that’s not allowed and you’ll get in trouble for that. So bring them back and don’t do that in the future. I’m just trying to help you out and give you the heads up. I want you to succeed here.”

In some situations that’s all that it takes. However, with high-conflict people, that is usually not enough. They often just become more secretive or persistent in their negative behavior. What they really need is to know that there are clear and credible consequences waiting for them if they violate the limit. This is why we talk about SLIC: Setting Limits AND Imposing Consequences.

Step 2: Imposing Consequences

When you set a limit it helps to think through what the consequence will be if the person violates that limit. Then you can warn the person about the possible consequence when you set the limit or wait to see if the limit is violated after the first warning. Sometimes the warning is enough to get their behavior back in line. But you have to be prepared to impose the consequence, otherwise your threat will have no credibility.

In thinking through your consequence, we have five questions in the SLIC Solutions for Conflict book:

Is the consequence proportional to the limit that I have set?
Have I considered both positive and negative consequences?
Is the consequence safe?
Am I ready to enforce my consequence?
Do I need to get help in imposing my consequence?
There isn’t room in this article to explain each one and give examples (there are over 30 examples in the book), but you can immediately get the idea and ask yourself these questions when you are thinking of consequences.

Step 2½: EAR Statements (or Not)

We call this Step 2½ because about half the time it helps to give an EAR Statement (one that shows empathy, attention, or respect) and about half the time it’s not advised. When it helps is when you have an ongoing relationship and you want to encourage the person to change their behavior. For example, in the above scenario of taking home supplies, the leader said “I want you to succeed here,” he or she was giving an EAR statement because there was some empathy shown for the employee. You don’t have to show all three of these for an EAR statement; a sentence of empathy, and/or attention, and/or respect is often enough.

However, in some situations, whether ongoing or not, the person needing limits and consequences is so manipulative that it is not advised to give an EAR statement, because they will tie you up in an argument about your empathy, attention or respect for them. “If you really respected me, you would cancel this consequence. I’m going to tell everyone that you are really not the nice person you pretend to be.”

Healthcare Leader Example

Healthcare is one of the areas where there has been a lot of recent education about conflict resolution and the importance of respectful behavior. In this hypothetical example, a hospital administrator sets limits on a surgeon whose behavior has stepped out of bounds.

HOSPITAL ADMINISTRATOR: “Good afternoon Dr. Star. Thank you for coming in today.”

STAR (slouches, spreading out over two chairs): “Why am I here? You know I’ve got a very busy surgery schedule and just finished my day.”
ADMIN: “Ok, I’ll get right to the point. We value your time and your work is a very important part of this hospital.”

STAR: “You’re damn straight it is. I bring in about 10 million a year in surgeries for this hospital.”
Step 2½: EAR Statement

ADMIN: “You’re absolutely right and we want you to be happy. We are very pleased with the quality of your surgeries, and the world is better off for all the people you have helped – whose lives you have saved!”

Step 1: Setting Limits

ADMIN (continues): “The Medical Director asked me to speak with you about a problem with the nursing staff. Have you heard about any problems with the nursing staff?”

STAR: “Oh, they’re always complaining about something. What is it this time?”
ADMIN: “Communication. They’re telling us that nurses are quitting because of how you communicate with them. But that’s something that can easily be improved. I don’t know if you’ve heard, but many healthcare systems are hiring physician coaches to help their best doctors with their communication skills. We want you to meet with one of these coaches.”

STAR (sits up): “I won’t do it. What can they teach me? What are they (sneers) – social workers?”
ADMIN: “Some are social workers and other professionals who all specialize in working with doctors and managers in healthcare. They understand the pressures you’re under and they have worked with many doctors who say they liked them – that they really helped them.”

STAR: “What do the nurses complain about – specifically?”
ADMIN: “That you yell at them and sometimes throw things at them in the operating room. That you scream that they’re idiots. It’s hard to keep nurses when that happens – and it’s several that have told us this. But we respect you so much that we think you can change this behavior.”

Step 2: Imposing Consequences

ADMIN (continues): “Otherwise, the Medical Director tells me there will need to be a hospital Board meeting about you – and we’re hoping to avoid that. And we hope you’ll want to avoid that too. So what do you say? Can we get you started with the physician coaching within the next 7 days?”

STAR: “How long do I need to go to this (sneers) ‘physician coaching?’”
ADMIN: “It’s at least six weekly sessions, but you can decide if you want more. It’s up to you and the coach. We just get a notice you completed six sessions. We don’t hear what you talk about at all. It’s all strictly confidential. We’ll just notice if things get better with the nurses. I can give you a list with the names of three coaches. The one you pick will notify me when you begin and when you have completed six sessions. I think you’ll find it really helpful. The other doctors have said that it’s helped make things easier for themselves as well as the staff around them.”

STAR (leans over): “Give me the list.”
ADMIN gives him the list and he walks out without saying another word.

Discussion

This example demonstrates how the consequence of having a meeting about him with the hospital Board of Directors was more undesirable to him than going to the coaching. Without the threat of that consequence, the limit that was set of being required to get coaching may not have worked. Also, you can see how the EAR statement right at the beginning seemed important to him. This also demonstrates how helpful it was that the administrator was prepared for each of his challenges with a ready response.

Coaching as a consequence of poor behavior for valued employees is becoming more popular. Rather than firing someone like this, it gives them a chance to change and improve. This is a common situation in high-tech companies and other organizations where they want to keep people with specialized training and experience, but they can’t tolerate their poor behavior. With High Conflict Institute with have a method for employees called New Ways for Work® Coaching and we also provide coaching for leaders who want to or need to strengthen their conflict resolution skills.

Conclusion

SLIC Solutions in three steps is a simple method to understand but takes practice to implement. Setting limits on its own is often insufficient when it comes to high-conflict people and their high-conflict behavior. Yet many organizations and leaders hesitate to impose consequences until their situations have gotten much worse. Setting limits and imposing consequences early on can help turn around poor behavior or make it clear that someone does not fit in your organization before other people leave or things escalate into lawsuits.

If you are interested in learning more about High Conflict Institute’s training for leaders and workplace coaches, please go to:

High Conflict Institute teaches professionals how to apply the New Ways method with clients—practical skills to manage emotions, thinking, and behavior.

09/09/2025

Bill Eddy LCSW, JD
5 Types of People Who Can Ruin Your Life
Narcissism
Why Grandiose Narcissists Think You’re an Idiot
You have to be seen as inferior so they can be seen as superior.
Posted September 7, 2025 | Reviewed by Kaja Perina

THE BASICS
What Is Narcissism?
Take our Narcissistic Partner Test
Find a therapist who understands narcissism.
Key points
Grandiose narcissists insult others as way of boosting their own self-esteem.
They may try to gain favor by insulting other individuals or groups not present, but this often falls flat.
One of their own common characteristics is to publicly label others as being narcissists.
Try to avoid responding with insults and instead leave the conversation or shift focus to useful information.
Researchers and treatment professionals have traditionally thought of narcissism as having two subtypes: grandiose and vulnerable. People with grandiose narcissism “engage in more social comparison, feel more envy, are more extraverted, more likely to pursue status, and have higher reported self-esteem.” People with vulnerable narcissism are less likely to engage in such social comparisons, are more introverted, avoidant, and have lower self-esteem.1 So if you are repeatedly being put down or otherwise insulted by someone, you may be dealing with a grandiose narcissist.

Ariya J/Shutterstock
Source: Ariya J/Shutterstock
The Need to Insult Others
“You’re an idiot!” “You’re the stupidest employee here!” “You’re the worst lover I’ve ever known.” Grandiose narcissists are driven to insult others on a regular basis to help themselves feel better about themselves by social comparison.

An insult often serves more than one purpose. They often do it for attention seeking, another one of a grandiose narcissist's characteristics. Their insults certainly get your attention and often the attention of others within hearing or who read what they have written.

When the target of their insults does not respond or looks upset by the insult, then a narcissist may believe that their bystander audience will see them as more powerful, clever, and successful. Sometimes this works, but more often it makes them look odd or incredibly insensitive.

When they insult individuals or groups who are not present, it is often to gain favor with those who are present. "Those people are so disgusting/intolerable/stupid/immoral/etc. Don’t you agree?” This way others will tolerate or embrace their disparaging remark as a way to feel connected as “we” are superior people. Again, sometimes this works for them, especially with other narcissists, and sometimes this falls flat as odd or incredibly insensitive.

In Legal Settings
In courts, it is common for those with narcissistic tendencies to include insults while presenting their case. “The defendant (or the defendant’s lawyer) simply does not understand the meaning of responsibility or ethics or the rule of law here.” The focus is supposed to be on the law and the facts, but it is common that the parties and/or their lawyers will slip in insults about the other person’s intelligence, morals, sanity, or other personal characteristics to subtly influence judges or juries. However, once again, with the average person this often falls flat and makes the speaker look odd or incredibly insensitive.

Narcissists Online
Insults are extremely common online because people feel safe expressing comments that might not be tolerated in person. Yet is it still usually grandiose people making such comments on a regular basis. Most people do not do that. For example, a study of online behavior found that it is mostly the same people who are bullies in person that bully others online. More often reasonable people drop out of those discussions rather than participate in them.2

Calling Others Narcissistic
As more people learn about personality disorders, it is becoming more common to hear or read about someone publicly saying “You’re a narcissist!” Or: “You’re a borderline!” Or: “You’re a sociopath!” Such labelling is usually meant to be an insult rather than a helpful analysis of a pattern of behavior. Most people know that publicly and unnecessarily labelling another person as having a personality disorder is unhelpful and considered socially improper.

For example, in family courts it is frowned upon to use such labels to describe one's former spouse and most people don’t. But ironically, from my observations over several decades, the people who do use these terms in court usually appear to have the characteristics of grandiose narcissists themselves. Such public labelling is often a diagnostic symptom of this disorder. As one of the possible the DSM-5-TR criteria for narcissistic personality disorder states: “Shows arrogant and haughty behaviors and attitudes.”3

It's Not About You
At times you may feel compelled to prove to someone like this that you are not incompetent or a loser, or whatever the insult is. But the reality is that it is not about you; it’s about their need to insult someone. In a sense you do not exist as a person for them, but rather as a prop to stand on. There is nothing to prove and if you make an effort to prove them wrong, then they will need to insult you even more in order to maintain their superior sense of self-esteem. They are actually very delicate and thin-skinned themselves. As another criteria for this disorder states: “Lacks empathy: is unwilling to recognize or identify with feelings and needs of others.”4

How To Respond
Try not to insult a grandiose narcissist in response to their insults. If you are alone with the person, you may choose to ignore their comment or calmly say “I disagree.” Then shift the conversation to something else. Or you could decide to leave the conversation and say “You know that’s enough. Let me know when you’re ready to have a civil discussion.”

If they insult you in public, online or in court, you may choose to ignore it or say something like: “While so-and-so has a need to make personal comments, I prefer to focus on the details or merits of what we are discussing and here’s some more information.” In court or other decision-making settings, it is sometimes appropriate to say: “While so-and-so is preoccupied with saying I am a narcissist, if you look closely at his comments they actually fit him rather than me.” Look reasonable and sound matter of fact, rather than upset.

If you get an insulting comment in a written communication, you are encouraged to use the BIFF Response method I developed that focuses on being brief, informative, friendly, and firm. For example, “Thank you for telling me your concerns. Here is some information you may not have…” This avoids engaging with the insulting comments at all and instead shifts the discussion to practical information.[5]

Conclusion
Today there are a lot of insulting and insensitive comments in many settings and especially online. Even though someone may tell you that you are an idiot, it reveals more about them than it does about you.

References

1. Igor Weinberg and Elsa Ronningstam, "Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Progress in Understanding and Treatment." Focus (American Psychiatric Association Publishing). 2022 October, Volume 20, Number 4:368-377. doi: 10.1176/appi.focus.20220052.

2. Jonathan Haidt, “How Social Media Dissolved the Mortar of Society and Made America Stupid,” The Atlantic, May 2022, 54–66.

3. American Psychiatric Association (APA): Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition, Text Revision. Washington, DC, American Psychiatric Association, 2022, 760.

08/18/2025

Borrowed from another company, with thanks.

Visitation and Co-parenting After Divorce

One of the most difficult parts of coparenting can be navigating visitation after divorce and parenting time. Often one parent will feel like they’ve gotten a raw deal or less than their “fair share.” You and your coparent need to develop your parenting plan together if possible. Coming up with a plan together can ensure that you both have a say and “buy in” to your agreement. When negotiating visitation, there are some things you should keep in mind:

The nature of your coparenting relationship,
Whether the two of you communicate well,
Be as flexible as possible,
Respect your coparent’s time.
Consider Your Coparenting Relationship
When you’re developing a visitation schedule, you should consider the relationship you have as coparents. How much conflict do you and your ex have? If the two of you already have a good relationship or can at least communicate without hostility, you can likely make any schedule work for both of you. But if the two of you have a contentious relationship, you may need to place many parameters around your visitation schedule. You may want to choose a neutral location for pick-ups and drop-offs or have one parent drop off at school and the other pick-up, to avoid seeing each other.

Keep the Lines of Communication Open
How well do you and your coparent communicate? Are you good about keeping one another in the loop or asking about plans? If not, now is a good time to learn. You’ll both want to be in the loop on all communications regarding your children, whether it’s parent-teacher conferences, sports schedules, or medical appointments. Make sure that open communication becomes a standard part of your new coparenting routine. If you’ve had problems keeping one another in the loop in the past, consider creating a shared calendar or using a coparenting app.

Embracing Flexibility for Effective Co-Parenting After Divorce
Things happen, and sometimes you’ll need to adjust your coparenting schedule on the fly. One of your children may get sick and need to stay where they are. If you live too far apart, an important school or sporting event may call for an adjustment. Maybe you’ll want to adjust the schedule if you’re moving or plan a special vacation. If you can be flexible with your coparent, they will be more likely to be flexible with you.

Respect Your Coparent’s Time
Once you have a custody order in place, both of you should follow your parenting plan. And flexibility can be wonderful when it’s a two-way street. But what happens when your coparent doesn’t respect your time or tries to sabotage the arrangements?

Some things your ex may do that indicate they don’t respect your coparenting status or visitation time include:

They make plans for your kids during your parenting time without consulting you first,
Trying to change drop off times, or change visitation days with no notice regularly,
Making major decisions for the kids concerning their health, education, or living arrangements without consulting you, and
Withholding visitation in retaliation.

As tempting as it can be to retaliate against an ex who tries to interfere with your plans and custody time, don’t ever use your parenting visitation schedule as a weapon. As contentious as your relationship with your ex may have been, your children shouldn’t be in the middle of that conflict. Remember to:

Treat your coparent with respect,
Be kind,
Don’t put your kids in the middle,
Keep your coparent in the loop,
Always give advance notice,
Make decisions jointly as much as possible,
Respect your children’s plans, and
Respect your coparent’s time.
It’s good to be as flexible as possible, but both parents should respect the other’s boundaries and relationship with the children.

You may also want to read Setting Agendas for Your Kids with Visitation and Co-parenting or listen to Divorce Dialogues’ episode “Crafting a Parenting Plan That Puts Kids First”

08/11/2025

Obviously, as a Family Mediator, I highly recommend mediation. However, if you select mediation, please ensure the other party is also prepared to discuss and explore solutions. A few days ago, I met with clients who tried their best to convince me who was at fault. For a while, it looked like WW111 was starting. Although I explained once again what it meant to mediate, the parties kept following the same pattern of insulting and blaming. I discontinued the session, refunded their money and suggested they sort out what was worth discussing, go to court, or give me a call for another try.
Just in case you are ready to discuss and work out your differences, please give me a call at 705-875-3628. A consultation is always free.

Call now to connect with business.

07/28/2025

We can now be reached via What's Up 705-341-3515

07/20/2025

needs repeating.

everyone tells a woman to leave an abusive home but no one helps her.

yet police and advocates know that the most dangerous time for a women (and her children) are when they are leaving or have recently left.

everyone tells dv survivors to go to family court if there's custody issues but no one helps her.

yet family courts ignore abuse and legally shackle survivors to the abuser they just escaped from. family courts ensure that the abuse goes on and on and...

for many dv survivors there is NO ESCAPE from the coercive control legally codified by family courts.

it's way past time to and create the supports we deserve. ❤️✊🏾

01/25/2025

True, except when that parent is dangerous. Too many parent are denied access because the other parent "hates" him or her.

01/23/2025

Lately, I have been getting a lot of questions regarding relocation. For those contemplating or in a current situation, please read below.

The Divorce Act has rules about giving notice about plans to move. When you have a court order under the Divorce Act for parenting responsibilities for a child (which means that you have an order giving you custody, access, parenting time or decision-making), you will have to give notice if you plan to move.

You need to give notice if you are planning to 1) move your child or 2) move away from your child.

If the move would affect the child’s relationships with you or others in a significant way, the Divorce Act says that this is a “relocation. ” A relocation generally means the parenting time schedule for the child will no longer work because of the move.

There are specific rules in the Divorce Act about giving notice about a relocation. If your move would be a relocation, you can use this form to notify everyone who is entitled to notice.

There are some situations in which giving notice might not be appropriate or safe, like when there is a risk of family violence. A court can make an order that says that you don’t have to give notice or changes what you have to do.

For more information about the notice requirements under the Divorce Act, please consult the Fact sheet: Moving after separation or divorce?.

Instructions
You must give notice to everyone who has a Divorce Act order giving them:
parenting responsibilities for your child(ren) (custody, access, parenting time or decision-making) or
contact with your child(ren) under a contact order (contact orders may be made for someone other than a spouse or former spouse, such as a grandparent).
You must provide notice to them at least 60 days before the date you expect to relocate.
If you are planning to relocate your child(ren), anyone with parenting responsibilities for your child(ren) can object to the move. They can object by either 1) completing an Objection to Relocation form or 2) applying to a court. They have to object within 30 days of receiving your notice.
A person with a contact order cannot object to your child(ren)’s relocation.
If you receive an Objection to Relocation form or a court application opposing the relocation has been filed, you cannot relocate the child(ren) until a court makes an order allowing the move.
If you do not receive an objection to the relocation of your child(ren) within 30 days after giving your notice, you may go ahead with the move on or after the date you indicated in your notice, as long as there is no court order saying the move cannot happen.
If you are relocating without your child(ren), you still have to provide the same notice, but no one can object to your relocation.
You can use the same form for more than one child.
You can complete one form to send to everyone entitled to notice or a separate form for each person.
It is a good idea to attach a copy of your most recent parenting order to your notice. This will help to make sure everyone has the same information about current parenting arrangements. If the most recent parenting order does not reflect your child(ren)’s current schedule, you may also want to attach a description of their current schedule.
It is important that you be able to show that 1) you provided the notice to everyone who is entitled to notice and 2) they actually received it.

Remember, a person with parenting responsibilities can object to a child’s relocation up to 30 days after receiving the notice, so it is important to know when they received it. Also, if you go to court, the judge will want to see proof that you followed all of the requirements for providing notice. When a judge is deciding whether to allow a child’s relocation, one of the things they have to consider is whether you met all the notice requirements.

As long as you do it in writing, there are many ways that you can give notice. Here are few examples:

Email: If you send the notice by email, you may be able to use the “read receipt” function in your email program. You can also ask the person to send you an email confirming they have received it. If you don’t get an email confirming they have received it, then you may want to give notice by another method.

Mail or courier: A person working at a post office can tell you how to send a document with proof that it has been delivered. Courier services also offer options for tracking deliveries. If you can’t get proof of delivery, then you may want to give notice by another method.

In person: You can deliver the notice in person and keep a record of the date, time and address, along with the name of the person you gave the notice to. It is a good idea to have someone come with you and be a witness.

If you are not comfortable delivering it yourself in person, you could ask someone else to deliver it for you and keep a record of the delivery details, such as the date, time and address, along with how they know the person they gave the notice to.

You can also use a process server to deliver the notice. A process server is someone you can pay to give documents to another person, and they will provide you with proof that they delivered the documents. If you search online for “process server” and the name of your community, you will find the contact information for local process servers.

The way you choose to give notice may depend on your relationships with the people who need to get it. For example, if you are worried about being able to show a court that you gave notice, you might want to consider using a formal process that is used for serving court documents, such as sending the notice through a process server. All provinces and territories have rules about serving court documents, and you can find out more about these rules through their family law websites.

Notes about certain sections of the form:
Part B – Information about the relocation

Please check only one box.
Provide the name(s) of any child(ren) for whom you have parenting responsibilities under a Divorce Act order (custody, access, parenting time or decision-making) and indicate whether you are planning to relocate them. If you need to provide the names of more than four children, you can put their names and whether you are planning to relocate them in the text box.
Provide as much detail about the new address and contact information as you can at this time.
Part C – Names of the people who are receiving this Notice of Relocation

You must provide this notice to everyone who has a Divorce Act order for parenting responsibilities for your child(ren) (custody, access, parenting time or decision-making responsibility) or contact under a contact order. You can use the same form for everyone or separate forms for each person. However, you need to include the names of all people who will be receiving notice on each form.
Part D – Proposal to change parenting arrangements and/or contact arrangements

Provide a proposal for how parenting time, decision-making responsibility and/or contact could be exercised if the relocation takes place. Some of the things you may want to include are:
Will the current parenting time schedule need to change after the move? If so, what is your proposal for a new parenting time schedule?
If someone has contact under a contact order, will the contact schedule need to change? If so, what is your proposal for a new contact schedule?
Will the child(ren) need to travel to spend time with you or anyone else who has parenting time or a contact order? If so, how will they travel? What would the estimated travel costs be? Who will cover the travel costs? Will the child(ren) need to be accompanied? Who will accompany the child(ren) and who will cover those costs? Who will make the travel arrangements?
Are there other ways parenting time or contact could happen after the move, for example by phone or electronic communication?
Important note: Under the Divorce Act, parents must try to work out issues involving their children, including a child’s possible relocation, by using out-of-court family dispute resolution processes such as negotiation and mediation, unless it would not be appropriate. It is generally better for parents to come up with their own solution, as they know their children best. A judge may make a decision that one or both parents do not like. Even if one parent objects to the relocation, it is important to keep trying to come to an agreement, where appropriate.

More information can be found on the Justice Department website.