12/06/2026
Earlier this week I wrote a rant about bagged dog poo that somehow resonated around the country.
From Coffs to Carnarvon, people had seen what I had seen: plastic bags full of dog logs hanging from trees, dumped beside walking tracks and scattered across the joint like tiny, non-biodegradable Christmas decorations.
The funny thing is, I hate people who rant about dog poo.
But here I am, in my 40s, hunched over the keyboard for the second time this week, apparently now the nation’s leading dog-poo correspondent.
This time, however, I bring a solution.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you: Float-a-Poo.
Pick up your dog’s business using the patented thicker plastic bag, so you no longer feel its haunting warmth through the plastic on a cold Coffs morning.
Are the bags biodegradable?
Heck no.
Simply tie it off, fill the bag with helium from the complimentary pocket-sized canister and release it into the sky.
The poo is carried gently away on the breeze, never to be seen by you again.
Where does it land?
Not your problem.
Float-a-Poo: because environmental accountability is for dog owners without helium.
