Dan Bottrell

09/02/2022

Lockdowns and isolation periods can seem interminable at the best of times, so spare a thought for those separated couples, whose relationship must limp along while they co-exist, living apart but under the one roof.... Family lawyers have seen this happen more often than you would think during the past 2 years. So, for those who find themselves in it, here are my tips for getting out the other side of that situation with sanity intact.

Life can feel like suspended animation for those who separated prior to, or during, the Covid lockdowns, and have been caught up in a ‘separated under the one roof’ situation ever since. Money ca…

19/09/2020

While people see a family lawyer with a view to implementing a separation, experienced family lawyers have a few tools up their sleeve which can help take a case in an unexpected direction .... to a reconciliation. In its article this week, nestegg (nestegg.com.au) took a look at a few things I have suggested that couples can think about to de-fuse conflict about money in their relationship.

The pandemic has put a new set of pressures on relationships, with finances oftentimes a trigger – so how can couples put such arguments to rest?

01/02/2020

Why do some separations unfold without a hitch, the parties effortlessly unbundling their shared lives, while others become the war of the roses, a tortured process which plays out over years? More often than not it is because one or both of the parties enduring a high-conflict separation are still in a relationship together, albeit a negative relationship. In those situations, hate becomes the bonding agent keeping them together. Often ex-spouses are oblivious that, despite their separation, they remain just as connected as when they were in love. This situation is quicksand, and unless managed thoughtfully, unresolved hatred will pull one spouse into the quagmire of a high-conflict separation. So, how do you avoid a long-term negative relationship? It’s not always easy, but these tips will help.

Relationships fall on a spectrum of emotions, and our default view is to see them at their most positive – people form, and remain in, relationships and marriages when they are in love. But at the…

29/04/2019

28/04/2019

It is often heard by family lawyers that one of the motivations for a spouse going to trial is to have their former spouse’s behaviour exposed - to see them mercilessly taken to task by a Judge about their part in, and actions surrounding, a relationship breakdown. But what if you knew in advance that this ‘shaming’, which you have played out in your mind, will probably never occur? Would you then approach your decision making differently? In family law, revenge is not a dish best eaten cold, but rather, not at all….

When people who have separated first see a family lawyer, they are, understandably, experiencing the full gamut of emotions – shock, despair, anger. How they feel can change from hour to hour, and…

20/01/2019

Been handed a pre-nup that gets your heart racing, for all the wrong reasons? Take a deep breath, there's plenty you can do before it comes time to sign. Financial Agreements will rarely work unless there is something in it for both parties. Use these tips to re-balance the Agreement, and make it something you are happy to live by, happily ever after.

(This article is Part 3 in the series ‘Pre-Nups – The Death of Love?’ – parts 1 and 2 can be seen as earlier posts at www.danbottrell.com )   Well-drafted pre-nups (Financial Agreements…

06/01/2019

Got a family law problem? Feel like you've done everything you can to resolve it? Feel like it's still no closer to resolution? You're not alone. But take heart - your problem has a solution, it's just that you might need to get to the bottom of what has caused it to stall. Follow these tips to get better traction, and ultimately, get to 'yes'.

January inevitably begins with palpable gusto.   For business owners and entrepreneurs, there are new targets to hit, new products to launch, new markets to tap into. For professionals, there…

30/11/2018

November ends with a little mention in the Gold Coast list of the 2019 Doyle's Guide to the Australian Legal Profession

07/10/2018

In busy periods in our lives, it can feel like we're not achieving much, and in fact, going backwards - a few busy weeks at work, and life begins to unravel - suddenly the laundry is piled up, the groceries are not done, and you wonder how you're going to catch up. It's the same with your divorce - things can pile up, and the 'to do' list can get to the point where you wonder how you will get through it. Follow these tips to break what seems like an insurmountable problem, into smaller ones, and return order to your separation.

Old adage, how do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time.   The same is true of your separation and divorce.   When I meet people for the first time, they often tell me that they are fe…

22/07/2018

When we are confronted by an overwhelming problem, sometimes the best way forward is to take a step back - in my experience, that is certainly true of managing separation and divorce. Circling the wagons and giving yourself some time away from the problem can help - time to re-charge the old batteries can mean that you come back to the issue with gusto. So, be sure to book a vacation from your divorce.

Enduring a separation or divorce is one of the most emotionally intensive events of one’s life (second only, in my experience, to renovating a bathroom).   Ironically, planning a wedding is so…

10/06/2018

Why can’t you just make a decision! Some of us can make decisions on breathtaking subjects in an instant, and never look back. But for many of us, anguishing over a decision – a new wall colour, a replacement oven, where to make a dinner reservation – is just who we are. So what if the stakes are higher – much higher - and the decision is about the resolution of your separation? To make a decision on such a life-changing subject can cause you to freeze up. In this blog, I set out 5 tips to overcome decision making paralysis, and help you conquer the task of deciding ‘what to do’.

Separation and divorce puts strain on us as people, and that strain magnifies our strengths, as well as our weaknesses.   One such area I see as a family lawyer is how people embrace the decis…

13/02/2018

I had this coming after publicly admitting I am a 'disbeliever' in Valentine's Day....