Benson, Benson & Schwartz

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Benson, Benson & Schwartz Who knew LAW couldn't also be WACKY & FUN???!!!! Check you local Penny Saver for discount coupons fo Thank you for your support.

We are proud to announce that we have a 62% success rate of defending loiterers and a 25% success rate of prosecuting perpetrators of buggery. If you have a problem, if no one else can help, and if you can find us, maybe you can hire...The Double B&S Team!!!!

19/08/2022

Special rates for monkeypox lawsuits.

28/04/2021

Neighbor gave you COVID??!!!

SUE HIS ASS, TODAY!!!

Know Your Rights! A little known constitutional right that you might not be aware of: If the police attempt to arrest yo...
07/07/2018

Know Your Rights! A little known constitutional right that you might not be aware of: If the police attempt to arrest you shout, "Times Out!" and haul ass to base!

We at Benson, Benson & Schwartz systematically denounce all of Rose "Cherry Darling" McGowen's claims as the mirrors a...
01/02/2018

We at Benson, Benson & Schwartz systematically denounce all of Rose "Cherry Darling" McGowen's claims as the mirrors affixed to our loafers are purely aesthetic!

10/12/2017

We were in the midst of prosecuting a sexual harassment case until Coco Ray pinched the public defender on her ample hiney and is now accused of sexual harassment, too!! Does anybody know a good lawyer???!!!!

In our first international lawsuit, our services were recently requested by the boisterous Kim Jong-un!!!! Our requested...
29/09/2017

In our first international lawsuit, our services were recently requested by the boisterous Kim Jong-un!!!! Our requested retainer fee...to pinch his chubby, little hamster cheeks!!!!! :D

13/07/2017

During our case of Montgomery Christopher Jorgensen vs. Washington, a swift mid-summer breeze through an ajar courtroom window demonstrated that both judges and Scotsmen go commando!!!!!!!!!

The judge's gavel, good for rendering justice, great for spicy foreplay!!!!!!! :D
04/05/2017

The judge's gavel, good for rendering justice, great for spicy foreplay!!!!!!! :D

Lasik for Lady Justice Fund!!!!! Justice does not have to stay blind!!! ***Please donate your used pop bottles today****
04/03/2017

Lasik for Lady Justice Fund!!!!! Justice does not have to stay blind!!! ***Please donate your used pop bottles today****

02/02/2017

Benson, Benson & Schwartz: Defying executive orders since 1982!!!!

09/04/2014

NEW COMPANY ACHIEVEMENT EARNED: 6 MONTHS STRAIGHT OF MISSED WORK!!!!!!!!!!!!

WAY TO GO TEAM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Somewhere, OH

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