Law Office of Lisa Sterling Arnquist

Law Office of Lisa Sterling Arnquist To assist people with all their Family law issues: Divorce, Custody, Mediation, Child support + more. Family law attorney


Check out my blog: DIVORCING YOUR KARMA

(I'm new at this so, haven't figured out how to link it up, but hopefully soon...) For now, here's my first post:

After practicing family law for nearly 30 years in Southern California, I’ve witnessed an urgent need for reform. The courthouses can’t begin to contain all of the pain, drama and heartbreak that flow through its hallways in a seemingly endless sea of suffering.

Confucius said, “To put the world in right order we must first put the nation in order; to put the nation in order, we must first put the family in order; to put the family in order, we must first cultivate our personal life; we must first set our hearts right.” It all begins with our hearts.

Broken hearts hurt but they can heal. Its difficult to enter into our hearts and do the work that needs to be done, because everything in there is so tender. We’re dealing here with the most precious things in our lives…. our families and our children. All the more reason to start the process. As painful as it is, it becomes even more painful to keep carrying around the “bad” feelings which block the path to healing.

Inside the tender, broken heart, there is often a mountain of blame in our way. In family law, as in life in general, as an observer, it’s easy to spot all the blame that we put upon another. The problem with blaming others, is that when we do so, we give all of our power away, and this is not a wise choice. We’re going to need all of that power to make the changes in our lives which are beckoning us!

Sure, other people may make poor decisions which effect us, but when we begin to take responsibility for what is happening in our lives, we start to see the role that we’ve played in causing these circumstances to come about. This is when we start to “take back our power,” and release the victim mentality which keeps us powerless and unable to change in any meaningful way.

There is a saying, “When you point a finger at someone else, three fingers point back at you.” Try it. Its true. Once we see that we helped create the circumstances in our lives (whatever hand we had in it), we become Creators and can create new lives for ourselves, which are more harmonious and peaceful, full of acceptance and accommodation for all. We can find ourselves less and less pulled by outer circumstances and can begin to write the script of change which our hearts, our personal lives, our families, our nation, and our world sincerely need.


California has a 60% divorce rate. Sigh. My wish is that everyone will work on their issues and I will happily go find another job. Until that happens, I'm here trying to help as many people as possible to "put down their weapons" (which is often their children), and focus on healing. If they can't remain together, they need to realize that they are still a family. There is a still a mother, father and child(ren), and that doesn't change. There may be additional family members added, such as step-parents, step-siblings and half-siblings, but its still a family... just now living in separate homes.

Mahatma Ghandi said that the true function of a lawyer is to unite hearts that had been riven asunder.... No where is this ideal more important than in the area of family law. When good lawyers guide Divorcing parents to reunite their hearts over their children, they will watch in awe as miracles surface and tangled legal issues unravel with ease, and healing blooms.

When couples continue their fighting through the divorce process, using the courts as their new battlefield, no body wins, except perhaps a few greedy lawyers. Its time for some major reform in the thinking of most divorce lawyers who need to look holistically at each case, remembering that there is still a family involved and work to find solutions that assist and elevate the whole.


Just posted this on a website where a young mother was separating from her baby-daddy. I thought it might be worth repeating here for anyone (which is many of us) who use social media as a way of "venting." ....

I'm really sorry that you are having to go through that kind of experience. What everyone is saying is right... it can make you stronger and lead you to a better life, if you set your boundaries and make smart choices. As a family law attorney, I have to insert a little caution here... He could be trying to build a case against you for some future custodial battle. Don't want to plant seeds of negativity, but just hoping to caution you. Anyone going through a potential breakup with the father of their children should be super careful about what they post on social media. I've seen this happen many, many times... Lawyers have a field day using anything printed in social media as evidence against the person who posted it. Here, you didn't say anything that could be used that way, but you'd be surprised (or maybe not) at what some people post in a moment of frustration and anger. Once it's out there, it's evidence, and you can't take it back. Even if you delete it quickly, someone may have taken a screen shot, etc., and pretty soon its in front of a Judge in a custody battle and you're having to explain, "I didn't literally mean that I wanted to kill him...", etc.... you get the point! I always wished that I could talk to people BEFORE they end up in my office with these sorts of problems. Same advice as before... make smart choices, they lead to happy places. Good luck!


34 Plaza Square, Suite 209
Orange, CA

Opening Hours

Monday 9:30am - 5pm
Tuesday 9:30am - 5pm
Wednesday 9:30am - 5pm
Thursday 9:30am - 5pm
Friday 9:30am - 5pm


(714) 543-0048


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