02/10/2023
With Valentine’s Day approaching, maybe you just aren’t feeling it.
Maybe things had already soured with your partner before the pandemic - or that wedding is still postponed.
Maybe you’ve met someone else, but whacky finances are keeping you from moving on.
You probably only see two doors: one leading to nowhere, and one leading you to emotional freedom but financial catastrophe – nobody wants to end up like Kathleen Turner and Michael Douglas in War of the Roses.
Maybe you’ve started looking for windows, not doors . . .
You’re reading news about layoffs and low unemployment. It’s not just you - your friends have no idea what the heck is going on either - one of them just got a promotion, and another was laid off after starting a new job only three months ago.
Used cars now cost more than your new car did, and you can't justify a refinance or a new home purchase now.
. . the truth is there is never a good time to divorce or break up. One side of a couple is always more ready than the other – it’s simply a matter of degree.
Courts are charged with severing financial ties between parties. Most people do not want to end up there. But here’s the secret: myriad creative, out-of-the-box, and otherwise heterodox solutions exist to deal with your situation.
Take an easy example: cars. Legally, what Kelley Blue Book says has been sacrosanct when assigning value. But does it actually make sense for a 3- or 4-year-old car to be ‘worth’ a higher price than what you’d paid for when the vehicle was new? What does the driver intend on doing with it? Most people don’t view it as an investment. Is this something worth fighting about?
And don't mention sales, refinances, or new home purchases - yes, interest rates have almost tripled in less than two years.
But you still want out . . .
Creative lawyers and others, in mediation or other collaborative processes, can help you reach agreements you may not have thought possible – continued co-ownership of real property post-divorce until interest rates fall, until a child is out of high school, or until one of you finds another job. Maybe the party having to move to a rental can pay less towards the co-owned home or in spousal maintenance/alimony.
These agreements aren’t simple – divorce never is. But they are possible.
Maybe the younger one (or richer one, or the one about to inherit) takes the retirement account that’s had the biggest beating and keeps all the gains down the road. On other taxable assets, the IRS always gets its piece - but maybe it can be a smaller one - if the right person keeps it.
And maybe your kids, after getting back to a routine at school in person, don’t have to deal with switching schools.
You’ll remain enmeshed, but if you have kids, you will be the rest of your life anyway.
Like eating takeout alone watching an '80s movie on a Tuesday in February, it’s better than a halfhearted date – or throwing money at lawyers arguing over the Subaru.
YouLaw Colorado is here to help you.
