29/07/2023
Divorce & Interference: Islam's Guidance
One of the leading causes of divorce in Pakistan is the joint family system,which I have personally observed in over a hundred couples. Unfortunately, many separations occur not due to the couple's faults but because of the interference of other family members, including sisters, brothers, mothers, and fathers-in-law.
These characters tend to involve themselves in the lives of newlywed couples right from the start, creating numerous issues that are not necessarily the couple's own.
The most critical figure in this scenario is the mother-in-law, known as "SAAS" in the local language, who often criticizes the newlywed female. This criticism can lead to a confrontation between the wife, who feels insulted, and the
mother-in-law. As a result, the husband, trying to be a good son, feels obligated to side with his mother and, sometimes unwillingly, punishes or confronts his wife to appease his family. This situation creates immense heartache for the wife and causes a rift in the couple's relationship, eventually leading to the downfall of
their marriage. It's important to note that this happens due to the interference of other family members and not because of any inherent issues between the couple themselves.
This thinking process, which puts the responsibility of taking care of the
husband's mother on the bride, is not ideal and is an example of unjustified behavior within the joint family system. Respect for parents is essential, but it should not be translated into seeking revenge from the bride. This kind of thinking is not consistent with Islamic teachings, as Islam emphasizes the importance of privacy for married couples and does not endorse the concept of a
joint family system.
In Islam, there is no joint family system; instead, there is a strong emphasis on respecting parents and taking care of them to the best of one's abilities. However, this responsibility should not be placed solely on the wife's shoulders.
The couple should have their own private space, free from interference, as this leads to a prosperous and harmonious relationship.
To address this issue, it is crucial to rectify the misunderstanding in our society and follow Islamic teachings that promote privacy and mutual respect within a marriage. Couples should be encouraged to establish a separate home
before marriage, fulfilling the Islamic condition of providing shelter to the wife, which entails creating an environment where no other family members can interfere.
In conclusion, it is essential to respect and take care of parents, but it is equally important not to burden the wife with the sole responsibility for this duty. By adhering to Islamic principles and promoting privacy and respect within
marriages, we can work towards reducing the divorce rates caused by the interference of other family members in Pakistan. Let us all learn from Islam's teachings and strive to create healthier and happier families. By Rana Javed Siddique Advocate