23/06/2026
A lot of people are victim-blaming.
I've seen comments calling this young woman a mumu, saying she is enduring abuse "all because of a man," and insisting that since she doesn't want him arrested, everyone should simply leave her alone.
But abuse is rarely that simple.
This is an 18-year-old who has reportedly been in this relationship since she was 15. When a person is exposed to manipulation, control, fear, intimidation, and violence over a long period, the psychological effects can be profound. Victims often become emotionally attached to the very people harming them. This is one of the reasons trauma bonding is so widely discussed in the context of abusive relationships.
People often ask, "Why doesn't she just leave?"
The reality is that victims may be afraid of retaliation, financially dependent, emotionally attached, isolated from support systems, or conditioned to believe the abuse is somehow their fault.
Another thing that concerns me is that she was reportedly being questioned in the presence of the alleged abuser. As both a legal and practical matter, expecting a victim to speak freely while the person she fears is standing right there may not yield honest or complete answers. Fear can silence people long before physical injuries heal.
And let's be clear: domestic violence is not simply a private family matter. Violence is a crime.
Where there is evidence of assault, including visible injuries, medical reports, witness accounts, or other corroborating evidence, the issue goes beyond whether a victim immediately wants an arrest. The law recognizes that victims of abuse do not always respond in ways the public expects.
A victim's reluctance to report, testify, or support an arrest is not proof that abuse did not occur.
We need to stop asking why victims stay and start asking why abusers feel entitled to inflict harm.
Domestic violence is not just a legal issue. It is also a psychological one. If we fail to understand both, we fail victims.
