15/04/2020
Tips to overcome crisis in the family:
What can the woman do when faced with crisis in the home? Many challenges do come up in the home which when not tackled with wisdom can pose danger to the immediate family and the extended family and even to the society at large. Different challenges in a home require different ways of handling it. Since people are different, approach to similar situation might vary from family to family. If Mrs. A approaches to resolving some issues works amicably with the union, Mrs. B may apply that same approach to similar situation and failed in the outcome. This is because we all have our individual differences syndromes. However, all issues can be resolved with right approach. Let’s consider two major common areas of crisis in the home and how to combat them.
Emotional Crisis: When I talked of emotional stress I mean when feelings are hurting. When the 'oneness' of the marriage union is being punctured. This happens when the desire of the union is not harmoniously met. This often occurs when there is childlessness or sexual infidelity in the family.
In the case of childlessness, first of all, you have to understand that marriage was first made for companionship and not children first. It beats me hollow when I see women wanting to harm themselves all because child isn't coming yet as desired by the couples. You must get this understanding that your purpose on earth is not to come and 'born' children. Children are part of God’s blessing and a medium of disciplining you as to what love is. After here you can't account for them.
"Your children are not your children. They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you, and though they are with you they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts, for they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls, For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you. For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. You are the bow from which your children as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite, and He bends you with His might that His arrow may go swift and far.
Let your bending in the archer's hand be for gladness; For even as He loves the arrow that flies, so He loves also the bow that is stable" - The Prophet (Alfred A. Knopf).
Even though the period of waiting could be frustrating and devastating to the woman. But notwithstanding, you can overcome;
- Acknowledge God as the giver and owner of children.
- Let the purpose of which you need it be for God's glory not yours.
- Don't be anxious about it.
- Be happy and love yourself, your spouse and everybody around you including your mockers.
- Take care of yourself and your body system.
- Discover your life purpose and stay committed.
And with thanksgiving pray and wait for it.
Believe me, you will surely share this testimony.
In the case of sexual infidelity on the side of the man, many things can be responsible. But in all you have a role to play in the solution. Nobody knows your spouse better than you. And nobody can proffer better solution for you. But for some common causes, solution can be proffered.
Understand the man sexual habits: The sexual habit of a man depends on the sexual discipline he has. Some men are so promiscuous that anything on skirt rouses them. While some find it as a means of enjoyment that they are never contented with one sexual partner. They are so blessed that they feel that the only way they can enjoy the fruit of their labor is to always be at the laps of women. Whichever be the case of your spouse's, you have a role to play for its solution. For the first set of people, the 'sexual indiscipline', it could be a psychological problem, that is a why you see some can go abusing little children and in some worst cases their own children. Whichever the case;
- Communicate with him in love and find out his unknown sexual history.
- Always appear attractive to him and stay connected even during this crisis.
- Take time out and find common ground.
- Let him know you are only concerned because of the danger it poses on himself and the family.
Financial Crisis: The stress associated with finances can be overwhelming. But it mustn't tear that family apart. With the right measure, it can be tackled;
- Live a simple lifestyle.
- Develop yourself
- Commit to a plan
- Get to work.
If the present state of the marriage is demanding much from you, like raising the little kids, that you cannot get to work, seek to get a help from relative or from where you and your spouse may agreed. If this can't be accepted by your spouse and the crisis persists, lay your hand on any good business or thing that can support the family. Discover your purpose in life and pursue it for your own success. At the end, you will smile again....Discovering your purpose in life is the best gift you can do for yourself.Watch out for more tips .
