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U.C. OKEKE Esq Social, No. 9 Joseph Wayas Close, Legislative Quarters, Apo, Abuja (2026)

30/11/2025

IS SURVIVAL EVER WORTH THE PRICE OF A BROKEN CONSCIENCE?”

Pamela's Story:

My mum started seeing Chief around the time my dad lost his job. Everything changed so fast. My dad went from being the one who carried the whole family on his shoulders to a man struggling just to keep us afloat. Things got so hard that he sold his land and almost everything he had just to buy a taxi so he could work.

When my younger brother and I got admission into the university, me to study Medicine and him Accountancy, I will never forget what happened. My mum handed my dad our admission letters, and later that night, I heard him quietly crying. He had nothing left to give us. Nothing.

The next morning, my mum told him she had gotten a loan from a friend abroad. My dad was so relieved that he made her kneel, laid his hands gently on her head, and prayed for her, calling her the rock of our family.

But later, my mum sat me down and told me the truth. Chief had given her ₦2 million to pay our school fees, accommodation, and every other expense. Without that money, our dreams of going to the university would’ve ended before they even started.

I know what she is doing is wrong. It is a serious sin. But my mum has never disrespected my dad. She still loves him, stands by him, and protects his dignity. He has never had a reason to doubt her. And honestly… without Chief, I don’t know how our family would have survived the last three years.

Sometimes I ask myself:
Will God forgive her because she did it out of desperation?
And will I be punished for staying silent?

Now I want to ask everyone reading this:
How many people are quietly living this kind of reality?
When survival and faith collide, what are people expected to do?

Is it ever justifiable?
And is God’s mercy big enough for situations like this?

What do you think?

02/02/2025

SHOULD CHILDREN WHOSE PARENTS ARE DIVORCED OR SEPARATED BEAR THE BRUNT?.

In Nigeria children whose parents are divorced or separated are sometimes made to bear the brunt of the frosty relationship between their parents. Usually, such parents find it difficult to isolate their children from the grave impacts of their acrimony and as such unwittingly make them parties to affairs which they were not privy to during its formation. This is wrong!

Many couples who go through divorce or separation or whose relationships are faltering are often unmindful of the sanctity of the rights and wellbeing of their children and the need to protect them. They are usually lost in their warfare against each other ignoring the collateral damages their acrimony have on their children.

In my practice experience I have seen cases where the father will deliberately refuse to provide for the needs of his children where they are in the custody of their mother after divorce or separation. He feels providing for the upkeep of his children will be beneficial to his enstranged wife or he does so out of sheer irresponsibility. There are also cases where a mother will deliberately refuse to allow the father have access to his children because she thinks he does not deserve the company of his children or she does so to get at him or to keep him away from herself.

The position of our laws is that in dealing with any issue or question in which the right of the child will be affected the best interest and welfare of the child shall be the paramount consideration. By this the priority of the law is what actually meets the child's best interest and not what one parent arbitrarily considers as serving the best interest of the child.

The law recognizes the right of every child to adequate wellbeing and maintenance including the right to be provided with food, shelter, clothing, education, medical care, parental attention and affection, and so on. The law imposes these responsibilities on the parents and punishes any parent who defaults to discharge their duties.

As a parent you have to bear in mind that your children came into life not by their own design but by your consummation of your union with your spouse. The children expect to be left out of the fray when your relationship with your partner is faltering. They expect parents who are conscious of their frailties, vulnerabilities and the need for protection when dealing with each other. Perhaps, if children had choices before coming forth, none may choose to come through parents who prioritizes their own selfish interests against their welfare.

When you have done divorce or separation you do not need any form of coercion either by law or any person to know that you ought to be responsible for the welfare of your children. Provide for their needs without being reminded, whether they are in your custody or not and do not set a condition for doing so. Was it not written in the scriptures particularly in 1st Timothy 5:6 (KJV) that "...if any provide not for his own, and specially for those of his own house, he hath denied the faith, and is worse than an infidel."?

If you are a wife you should ensure that your enstranged partner has access to his children when they are in your custody. Do not withhold them from him or frustrate him from having access to them as a way of getting at him. Doing such not only alienates the children from him but also creates a void within them that makes them feel incomplete. Refrain from corrupting their minds against their father. The same applies to the man who is having custody of the children.

In all, if you are a father or a mother and you are not responsible for the wellbeing of your child, you do not love yourself and should not be loved.

13/01/2025

THERE ARE CONSEQUENCES WHEN YOU ACT IN ANGER.

My friend, by all means avoid acting out of anger. When you feel insulted, disrespected, demeaned, cheated, stressed, frustrated or embarrassed, how you express your feelings can attract unintended consequences.

If you express your emotions without restraint or self control your reactions may not only tear down healthy relationships with others and cause you regrets but it can as well make you liable in law for crimes against your fellow human beings and the society.

For instance, when you express your emotions through slapping or hitting your spouse, child, friend, neighbor, stranger, visitor or anyone, your actions can make you liable to be prosecuted for ASSAULT, ABUSE, BATTERY or even HOMICIDE.

When you express your emotions by carelessly attacking someone's reputation through false utterances, you may be liable in tort for DEFAMATION.

Conviction on any of your irrational reaction in your expression of anger can make you suffer severe penalties.

As a human being it is natural to express emotions when you don't feel at ease. However, what distinguishes you from other animals is your capability to keep your emotions in check. This will help you to avoid trouble.

Did you not hear the Psalmist when he warned in Psalm 37: 8 thus: "Stop your anger, turn from your rage.., it only leads to trouble".

Was it not in Colossians 3: 8 that they said, "now you must also rid yourselves of all such things as these: anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language..."?

Didn't you recall that the wise man had it in Proverbs 14:17 that "People with hot temper do foolish things; wiser people remain calm"?

Anytime you feel angry don't forget that it dissipates with the passage of time. Within that window, don't do what you might regret afterwards.

11/01/2025

DID YOU KNOW THE LEGAL IMPLICATION OF THE TYPE OF MARRIAGE YOU CHOSE OR ABOUT TO CHOOSE?

From the interactions I had after my previous post on JUDICIAL SEPARATION & DIVORCE I observed that quite a lot of persons really wanted to understand the nature (legal implications and effects) of the type of marriage they are currently into or are about to get into.

Actually, understanding the legal implications and effects of the type of marriage you contract will help you make informed decisions that will enable you have a stronger and secure marriage and ultimately protect your rights in the long run.

Basically, there are two types of marriages you can legally contract in Nigeria. They are Statutory Marriage (Sometimes referred to as Court Marriage) and Customary Marriage.

WHAT TO KNOW WHEN YOU CHOOSE STATUTORY MARRIAGE

When you have chosen to contract a Statutory Marriage, know that this type of Marriage is governed by law. In Nigeria the law that governs Statutory Marriages is the Marriage Act. Contracting a church wedding after your customary marriage is not the same as contracting a Statutory Marriage.

One major feature of a Statutory Marriage is that it is monogamous in nature. This means that if you have this type of marriage you can only marry one partner at a time. Likewise your partner. So, if you don't legally dissolve your existing marriage with your partner and go ahead to marry another person you will be liable for a criminal offence called bigamy and will serve several years in jail if convicted.

If you contract a Statutory Marriage you can enjoy some special advantages. One is that the law ensures that you enjoy equal rights with your spouse. For example, rights to property ownership, child custody and spousal support in case of divorce.

Also a certificate establishing that you contracted a Statutory Marriage can be accepted for legal purposes including: Visa purpose (it is globally recognized and accepted); Inheritance claims (its easy for each spouse to succeed or inherit what belongs to one another in the absence of the other) and financial transactions.

WHAT TO KNOW WHEN YOU CHOOSE CUSTOMARY MARRIAGE

When you have chosen to contract a Customary Marriage you should know that such marriage will be governed by your local custom and tradition.

One major feature of Customary Marriage is that it allows polygamy. This means that even with the existence of a marriage, the husband can marry another wife any time he chooses without terminating the existing marriage.

Customary Marriage is usually contracted by couples who value their cultural roots because it brings pride to their heritage and deeper connection with their ancestry. The involvement of extended family during customary marriages creates a strong support base for couples throughout their marriage.

You may have observed that it is often common practice to see couples proceed to contract a Statutory Marriage after contracting the Customary Marriage. This is could be due to some disadvantages inherent in Customary Marriage which usually reflect the patriarchal (male dominated) nature of many traditional societies and which favours men in many ways.

For example, under customary marriage a man can marry more than one wife at the same time while the woman cannot do same. This is the opposite of Statutory Marriage where no party can contract another marriage without legally terminating the existing one and settling other issues which relates to property, spousal maintenance and child custody.

Another example is that the customary practice of a man paying bride price for a woman is often misinterpreted as purchasing the woman thereby creating an mindset of ownership and control of women.

As it concerns inheritance, some cultural systems exclude women from inheritance as properties are passed down to male family members. Also Widows may face challenges retaining their late husband's property.

During divorce in Customary Marriage the right to custody of children is preserved for the husband leaving the women with little or no rights over their children.

So you won't be surprised if some men may prefer to just pay the dowry in line with the custom and traditions and do nothing more. But statutory marriage protects the interest of women more than customary marriage.

However it is, I find it worthy to stress that our laws today does not support any custom or traditional practice which is repugnant to natural justice equity and good conscience. Any of such custom or practice whenever it operates in any circumstances to deprive the legal rights of a spouse will be rendered null and void and no effect by the law.

In all, you should bear in mind that Marriage is not just a romantic union or a cultural thing but it is a contract (agreement) that binds two people together under the law. Thus, under any marriage contract, your rights and responsibilities are well established.

U.C. OKEKE Esq.

06/01/2025

DIVORCE OR JUDICIAL SEPARATION: WHICH IS BETTER?

Sometimes dispute and misunderstanding between married couples may degenerate so badly that it becomes unhealthy or unsafe for the two to co-habit.

Where all efforts to resolve the disputes have failed and the only option left is to seek judicial intervention, which remedy would you seek?, Judicial Separation or Divorce?

Judicial Separation is a legal process which allows married couples to stay apart from each other while still being legally married. On the other hand Divorce is a legal process that terminates the marriage between married couples.

The nature of disputes and grievances that forms the grounds (reasons) for both legal processes are the same. They include:

a) Adultery committed by a spouse
b) An unreasonable behavior that makes it intolerable to live together.
c) Where a spouse has deserted the other for a continuous period of at least one year.
d) Failure to consummate the marriage
e) Cruelty, whether physical or emotional.

In Judicial separation you are no longer obliged to live together with your spouse. This means that certain marital obligations would seize. Example, right to co-habit. However, your marriage is not dissolved. This means that you cannot contract (enter) another marriage with another person during the period of separation with your spouse. Doing so will amount to a criminal offence called bigamy which makes you liable to be imprisoned. During the process of judicial separation issues relating to child custody and welfare, maintenance, and property settlement may be settled.

In Divorce your marriage become effectively terminated bringing permanent and conclusive resolution to marital issues. When legal divorce happens both spouses are free to re-marry. Issues relating to child custody, welfare and maintenance as well as property settlement will be addressed.

Some individuals may avoid divorce due to personal reasons which may relate to religious beliefs or due to other societal reasons (e.g. stigma). Judicial separation will however afford you time and opportunity to consider reconciliation.

In the cause of my legal practice, I have observed that couples who divorce often find it difficult to carry on with their lives peacefully. It becomes even more difficult where children are involved.

Apostle Paul in 1st Corinthians 7: 25 - 28 (New Living Translation Holy Bible) advised thus: "25. Now, about the young women who are not yet married. I do not have a command from the Lord for them. But the lord in his kindness has given me wisdom that can be trusted, and I will share it with you. 26. Because of the present crisis, I think it is best to remain just as you are. 27. If you have a wife, do not end the marriage. If you do not have a wife, do not get married. 28. But if you do get married, it is not a sin. And if a young woman gets married, it is not a sin. However, I am trying to spare you the extra problems that come with marriage."

U.C. Okeke Esq.

03/01/2025

Domestic dispute is one of the issues you might encounter in the cause of your interaction with others. It involves disagreements and misunderstandings between you and another person within your household.

Disputes can occur between you and your spouse due to issues such as lack of care, violence, abuse, intolerable lifestyle, incompatible values, infidelity and so on; it can also occur between you and your child(ren) due to issues relating to rules and discipline; and it can occur between you and your sibling due to issues relating to shared matters.

Other factors that could cause domestic dispute in your home may be traceable to financial stress, communication breakdown, emotional or psychological issues, substance abuse and addiction and so on. Virtually all domestic disputes I have handled in my professional capacity in the courts of law are replete with these factors.

When you are faced with domestic disputes in your home I recommend you do as follows:

(1) Endeavor to initiate a calm and honest conversation between yourself and the person involved.

(2) Where it is difficult to have a calm and honest conversation seek the intervention of a professional counselor or mediator.

(3) Consider legal action or police intervention especially where the dispute involves persistent or ongoing violence.

Kindly note that if you don't resolve your domestic dispute timeously it can cause serious emotional, psychological and sometimes legal consequences.

01/01/2025

It's a new year and I wish you a happy one. I don't want to stop at just wishing you a happy new year, I would like to inform you by way of reminder about what every day of your year essentially comprises of. Understanding what you do each day of this year, the challenges you might face and how to overcome those challenges will help make your year a fulfilling one.

DEAR RIDE WITH ME.

You see, as you were born you started LIVING. Your living is made up of your quest or desire or struggle to primarily sustain or preserve your life. (You are a life begotten by another life seeking to sustain life). Basically, among the things you need to sustain your life are three (3) things. They are FOOD, SHELTER AND CLOTHING.

Food because your body needs nutrients to function. Shelter because you need security and a place to rest. Clothing because you need to protect yourself from the weather, shame and distractions. Compare to other living things and you will see that their daily activities also revolve around these. They all seek for food, shelter, and are divinely clothed. For example, the birds feed on insects and other things and when they need to rest they retire to their nests. Same with the Lizard, they as well feed on insects and other things and when they seek rest they retire to cracks on walls or any other enclave to protect themselves from predators. The birds are clothed with feathers while the lizards are clothed with scales.

Having a security of the basic needs will not only help you to sustain your life, but also will make you feel comfortable and motivated to live a fulfilled life. Not having them will constitute an attack to your life, cause you discomforts and discourage you from living a fulfilled life. To have a security of these basic needs does not come with ease. For to eat you will till the ground or buy; to shelter yourself you will build or rent; and to cloth yourself you have to sew it or buy it. Essentially, in whatever way you go about it, you will INTERACT with other people who are also partners in the common struggle or quest to sustain their lives.

Often your interaction with other people in your bid to sustain your life is full of challenges. The challenges comes in their varieties. Because you would like your life to be sustained and others would also like same for themselves, everyone will resort to the scramble for, access to, control and security of FOOD, SHELTER AND CLOTHING. Ultimately, the quest to have access to, control and secure these life sustaining resources will then breed dispute and misunderstanding. In essence, all disputes and misunderstandings prevalent in our families and the society at large revolves around this issue.

As we go on I will try to identify more precisely some of the issues and challenges that you might expect in your quest to sustain your life and profer solutions that will enable you successfully navigate through these challenging situations as they might arise.

Kindly engage, like and share so that we can reach our loved ones and everyone together with these reminders so as to make our families, society and the world a better place.

Wishing you a highly fulfilling year.

25/12/2024

Special one, I welcome you to my page. I created this page to highlight, address and profer solutions to some issues of life drawn from my knowledge, experience and instinct. My motive is to sustain your consciousness to purposeful and righteous living. I can assure that through here you'll get vital information that will help you navigate through difficult times and help us build a better society. Kindly follow, engage, like and share, let's grow together. Thank you!

U.C. OKEKE Esq Social

30/11/2025

02/02/2025

13/01/2025

11/01/2025

06/01/2025

03/01/2025

01/01/2025

25/12/2024

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